NEW YEAR NEW LIFE

NEW YEAR   NEW LIFE

Image of a closing door or window upon the world, and a closing of a year, 2014.  Was reading a blog on thoughts.com, and over the last year or so, people have stopped using this service, for one reason or another.  Until now, I was one of those people, but now here I am.  On the last day of year 2014.  Tomorrow it will be 2015 and I will need to ask myself, “How will this affect me?”  New Year and does this mean I will begin a new life.  Just thinking, and could tell a story along those lines, how the subject came up in the first place.  Will keep this abbreviated and let the title carry my intention:  New Year   New Life.

And the underlying thought happens to be, will making New Year resolutions change anything?  Haven’t been one to make New Year Resolutions, although I have over the years wondered, “What’s New?”  And as each year passes, can add to my list, the achievements of mankind and others, as if I am part of it all, because I am here, part of the human collective.  But that’s another story for another time.  Will try to focus on the title and keep that context in mind.  New Year.  New Life.  What’s up with that?

End of the year 2014 and was having coffee with a 40-year long friend, who I had not seen for a few years.  Just happen to meet.  Talked.  He mentioned that his dad was 93 years old, and would turn 94 in 2015.  I smiled.  Liked his  Dad, and still do.  So it got me thinking, 20 years from this day and I would be 91 years old.  Unthinkable, but the subject came up.  “What have you been doing during the last 20 years.  Lost track of you when you turned 50?”   Being polite and I said, “ Had issues.  Lots of stress.  Dropped out.  Time passes fast, don’t you agree.”  

And he did.  Turns out my friend will be 65 this year.  His children are grown now, age 22 and 24, respectively.  Friend is still working, and so is his wife.  But they made changes that got my attention.  “Sold our house.  Downsized.  Living in a condo now?”  House was on the waterfront and with a nice beach and view.  Raised his family, and now it was time to do something more economically efficient.   Is what the baby boomers are doing now.  Nearing retirement age, and selling the big house.  Kids are on their own.  Time for a significant change.  And that’s what I was left with, after the coffee was gone and I was walking home.  Thinking about the conversation I just had with a long term friend.

New Year.  Does that mean I need to construct a new life and new existence and way of being, just because.  Because its 2015.  Because time doesn’t stand still.  Because what happens if I live another 20 years, and I have no plan and no clue, how life has come and gone.  So the last 20 years were spend in recovery.  Stressed out.  Turned 50 and there was no work, nor job.  Had time on my hands, well deserved.  And I did well.  20 years later and I am healthy, and moving around as if I were age 35.   But we all know, Stoney Blogger is an old dude.  Active, but we know.  Old Dude.  Some things never change, even as there years come and go.  2014 and tomorrow it will be 2015.

End of the year, and things have gone well for me.  Tried out the experiment of snow-birding, going south for the winter and into the sun.  6 months of testing the waters to see if this would work for me.  Turns out it would, but my travel companion is but 55 years old, and it is working out that work is still in the picture, and I should drive around until we meet up, near the Mason-Dixon Line.  So have done some alternative planning, will keep the RV warm and nearby, in case travel companion shows up. 

For now it looks like work and other things are still in play for TC, and that leaves me with the benefit of a place to park and go fishing and is pure luxury for one who has at his center, an urban existence.  So  now splitting time between the lake and the city.  Not cold, but neither is it warm.  But for now, will stay where I am and see how that works out.  The fish are biting and am enjoying the way it is. 

Not sure I can really wrap my head around the idea, New Year means I need to plan a new life.  But then again, what happens if you are blessed with another 20 years of life?  Do you really need a plan.  My last 20 year plan had to do with living and just being.  No work and a lot of play.  And all I know for sure, is that if you stay busy, live stress free and take care of yourself, well then.  New Year.  New Life. 

It is possible.  Apparently.  

SUBLIMINAL GRAY

SUBLIMINAL GRAY

I have less than an hour now to complete the assignment, that I have given myself.  Started a few days ago, when I got annoyed by a headline that was suppose-to-be news, but turned out to be one of those follow-up articles at the bottom of the digital page, that was nothing more than a clever way to get your attention, and have you click on the link, and find yourself being persuaded on some topics that you didn’t intend to read, if you realized in the first place, it was an advertiser’s way of getting to you.  Getting in your head, and when things like this happen to me, I become annoyed with myself, and try to steer away from misplaced paranoia over advertising, be it subliminal or overt.

Not sure what gets to me most, my own ignorance about what is really going on, when google decides for me what is news.  It happened just the other day, I clicked on news, and this was the headline that was demanding my attention.  Headline:   “Can Your Dog Understand What You Are Saying?”  My initial reaction was annoyance and a slight hint of anger that this was happening to me, once again.  Tricked into something I had no intention of giving energy and time to, it made a mark on me.  Not the question or the inquiry, posing as news, that dogs could possibly understand human speech, but rather, that out of nowhere, my mind became manipulated and I was cast in a mindset, I now refer to as ‘ Subliminal Gray’.

Not sure what I know about dogs and human speech.  Not sure when I talk to my wife or significant other or daily companion, how much they understand when I go on and on, talking about something.  Communication and am not sure what it takes to be understood, but it comes to me from the outer banks of some recognition pattern, that life goes on.  To be understood is not the most important thing, or so I tell myself.  Peace and harmony and living side by side with others is important to me, but of course how would I know if it is important to you?  I suppose I could ask, and listen closely to your answer and the things you say, in the moment when I bring the subject up.

But here again, I take no refuge in the one to one correspondence, be it with man or woman, dog or horse, and am often left with the notion that I live in the subliminal gray zone, where shapes and tone and colorful speech take on a meaning all their own, independent of me and the intentions I had when I brought this subject up, started a dialog or conversation, and had some faith in the process of one to one correspondence.  Not thinking this is a personality thing, but when asked recently what a person would do, or where they would go, if determined they are to go Snow Birding.

Snow Bird.  West Coast or East Coast.  What’s it like to be with you?  And this is when I realized I had an intention to write a blog about subliminal messaging and combine that with the shapes and messages that come from nature’s own coding of natural states embedded in things found along the coast in winter, regardless if it was East or West, and how that might change the message received, when inquiring what things might be like, and what it is like to be with you?

Just when I plant the idea within that I can make sense of my own existence, due to inclement weather things change, subliminal gray directs my thoughts and feelings into a depression zone and the effects of living in isolation have a profound effect on me.  Suddenly I realize that with the constant rain and gray landscape of being on the west coast in winter, comes a form of nature and natural existence that is suffused with codes, clues and hidden messages from the other side.  News headlines and Weather Reports.  Climate talks and the storm centers on me, and I struggle to stay upbeat and positive about the choices I have made, when it rains every day, and my computer asks, “Can your dog understand when you talk to them?”

It makes me nervous that I can make sense of this.  Puzzles me when I dial up an answer that is suitable to all your blog readers, and then it comes to me.  Can this be done?  Can one run away from winter and its effects on the human being?  That one can jump in a RV, one’s mobile home and come up with a rotating coast of characters

That can be immediate companions and friends, until Spring arrives, does this make sense at all.  Or is fantasy mixed with hope, that there is an escape plan from the life I once had, that does not end up as a repeat performance.

The mind goes through the subliminal gray passage, rearranges itself, and things are different than you thought they would be, when it rains and it is cold and totally miserable, day after day, and you are depressed and lethargic, as you receive the subliminal messages of isolation and natures deprivation from culture and the ways of city life.   Not saying this is what is happening, as the first month of the coast in winter, brings forth new sensations and states of mind.  It is all new, and therefore one is in a constant state of adjustment.  Then as if it happens overnight, one gets acclimated and adjusted to the stare you are in, and there is an urge to flee.  Move on.  Replace the cold and rain and dismal gray with something more rewarding, something better.

Where are you and where are your going next?  Add to this the idea that distances between interesting places can be huge.  Why not stay where you are?  Beach in
Winter.  West Coast and at the edge of water and land, subliminal message coded in shades of gray exist.

Where you are is a must-see-place on a sunny day.  The coast is beautiful.  Timing is everything.  Cold and rainy in winter.  December is the wettest month of the year.  Chilly in the morning.  Limited sunbreaks throughout the day.  Don’t let bad weather get you down.  Each day is different, if you will it so.  Something for everybody, and it is up to you to decode the subliminal messages you receive, and make the best of it.  Even when its subliminal gray and nature calls out to you, “Go walk the dog.”

A COLD WIND BLOWS

A WIND BLOWS COLD

 

Middle of November, and a big winter storm passed by.  It is over now and on Monday morning, am experiencing a let-down when I look around and realize, tranquil environment in the RV Park, and people have left and only a few hard core people like me, are here.  So it is a quiet morning, and yes, expect that to change as the roads open, the snow melts and the ice permits road travel.  As for me, am here for another week.  Big rig and my driver is out and about, so I am here to enjoy the amenities.  That would be all the coffee you can drink, and a golf course with frost on it, and yes, November and the outdoor pool is closed.  On the inside is a spa tub for you to warm up in.

And I like that after a long walk out in the nature section of the park, where I am for another week.  Car and Driver, and mostly I am a passenger.  Not complaining, to be the one left behind, as that indeed is a state of mind.  Not rushing off to work.  No commute.  Tranquil and Quiet, with plenty of coffee and time to write a blog.  Great way to start this week.  Before I know it, will be Thanksgiving and after that, all the holidays of the season.  It is the time of year that I often find myself traveling.  Off to see the kids and family and anybody who will have me.  Not that being old is a curse of its own making, more like it is the contrast time, when you have time to do the things, left unattended when you were working and raising your family.  Past that now.  Have made other arrangements for the nuts and bolts of life.

 

So here I am, out and about, with no real history of being here before.  So it’s a mini-adventure, and starts with coffee and TV.  Watching the screens for news of what I might be missing, and as it turns out.  I am doing okay.  Missing, but not in a major way.  There is UPS and the retrieval process.   And have decided to give it a rest, back up to the fireplace and get warm.  And that is exactly what I find myself doing.  Warming up, but hope to be invisible in the middle of activity reserved for others.  Talk and Chatter and basic news.  Will use the day to plan for the week.  What exactly do I hope to accomplish, down the road we take?  Will need google map and my computer to see what is in range.  Turns out there are rental golf carts and small cars available.  So its not like I am a prisoner in Old-People’s-Camp.  More like it is up to me, to decide and then act.  And I will, once the nice lady behind me stops offering me more coffee.

 

Flashback to the reason I am here.  Here and it is comforting to know that rain ponchos are provided, if needed.  Of course, inside the RV has all one needs.  Club house and facilities of the place we are parked, has space and a few live bodies.  Once in a lifetime experience, if you register the fact that on this crowded planet, few have followed me to this space, where for a reasonable fee, on this day, have the place mostly to myself.  Has to do with winter storm, and people not traveling and moving around on the road surface.  Waiting for the ice to thaw and the light snow to stop.

 

Am here because I decided I could not stay in the city, in a small apartment and go out of life, without somebody around me, to call 911.  So am doing the out and about routine.  Spending, and no longer saving for a rainy day.  Is a planned progression and a Baby Boomer, end of generation party and celebration.  Luxury to just be.  And that is the reason I am here.  Going out in style.  And found that the RV and Snow Bird style is cheaper than a Rest Home.  Monday and catching up.  Waiting for somebody to come by, with the local news from a live and knowledgeable person, and not news on the TV.

The master plan and the general scope of things is good, but there is room for improvement.  What was I expecting, when in the end, I find myself alone.  Alone in the sense, I am not in the middle of a large city.  Alone with my thoughts and first impressions of this style of being that is somewhat new to me.  What was I expecting?  Comes down to just being, and not being entertained by others.  Dealing with the space and tranquility, like an astronaut in outer space.  Dark and dismal and alone.  Except when I am not and there are visitors asking, “How’s it going?”    “Interesting experience.”, I say and leave it at that.  Not unfriendly, but still finding out how it is out in the middle of an RV Camp, and its raining and I am starting to get cold, so I know this is not a good time for a long conversation.

 

Ready to start my day.  Not Motel 6 and there are no Dunkin Donuts establishments  close by.  Mostly I am on my own, and as if I was at my place in the city on a rainy day, I will curl up with a blanket, keep warm and read and stay busy.  And if somebody stops by, knocks on my door, and invites me out to play, I will consider all offers.  Even if it comes with the expected, “More coffee, Sir.”

 

WHEN STRANGERS MEET

 

WHEN STRANGERS MEET

I want to write a blog about when strangers meet, but before I do that, must use this blog venue and mechanism to air my thoughts and then get on with everything else.  I had a computer crash just last week.  I knew what to do.  Throw money at the situation and just go into Best Buy and purchase the latest and greatest at a very high price for something that ends up on the scrap heap before the year is out.  Running around the countryside in an RV, enduring bumps and vibration and everything conceivable, once you find yourself at the mercy of the road-forces.  So  throw money at the situation, or investigate.

Found myself in a foreign location and where people deal with you in the way they choose.  Sometimes rude and arrogant, they notice you are not a local, probably won’t be coming back, and in some ways this makes you a second class citizen, instantly.  So I had this encounter with sales person #1, who at age 23 or younger, told me how it was or is.  The message came through loud and clear.  I thought the kid was not entirely right, but through long years of training, stayed polite, and left the store without protest.  Didn’t buy anything.  Kid was being local and still young.  Did the smart thing.  Thanked him for his time.  And left. 

 

Gave the benefit of the doubt.  Just left.  Didn’t say anything, but have been thinking about it.  The message left with me.  Didn’t sit well, but when I find some distance, will figure it out and go from there.  Turns out this rude/arrogant salesman approach is keeping me from writing a blog about when strangers meet.

So message received.  It went like this.  Jettison tradition.  Anything you did, 10 years ago, and that would be 2004:  “ Forget about it.”   Learn from your mistakes, well forget about that too.  In fact, it’s a different now.  Make no comparisons with what you did before.  Get rid of erroneous thinking.  Move forward.

 

Of course, there is much more that this young person imparted to me.  And am still working with my thoughts, but see quite a bit of common sense, mixed with a lot of bullshit.  Being I am out in the country, I can smell the bullshit, before I can see it.  But moving along, I realize, we are moving at the speed of light, in so many directions at once, that there is no one way to do life, as it is presented in the moment. 

 

The computer problem was solved in the old way.  Went out into the community and took advantage that I have white hair, and an expensive RV as background for the first look and first impression.  Pull up to a yard sale with a 52 foot diesel rv/personalized bus, and what you get is very unpredictable.  Turns  out good this time.  Walked away with a laptop that allows me to write this blog, about:  When Strangers Meet.

 

There is a problem, but I am working on it.  This blog is inspired by communication I received in the way of personal email, from one who reads my blogs.  So I have two tasks to complete.  Write a blog about:  When Strangers Meet.  Also, to write a personal response to email, from somebody who takes the effort and energy to write AND say, “ I find your blogs interesting.  Tell me more.” 

 

My problem.  The blog will come first, but because I have a word count limitation, when I have baggage and  words and issues, that have nothing to do with you, I blog.  I air it out.  Have my say, and come back on another day, to actually write about:  When Strangers Meet.  But do want to come back with a follow up blog that gives me more content and detail about what I am thinking about when Strangers Meet.  Old way or as the young sales man said, “Wing it.  Fake it till you make it.  Discard lessons of the past.  There is no past. 

Just what happens in the present moment.”

Leaves me thinking, what should be my approach to internet private mail that suggests:  “ Tell me more.”  ??

 

So tomorrow I will be back.  To write about:  When Strangers Meet.  Part 2.  As for the email to my online friend, will give it a rest until I have done the proper amount of personal inquiry, reminding myself that my response will deal with the issue of Meeting A Stranger on The Internet, or   with the second possibility:  Meeting a Stranger:  face to face.  And because I have a word count limitation, it makes me wonder.  Writing and Seeking with those of like-mind:  How is it different then and now.  I wonder.  

Now I will leave you with this.  My lesson for today.  When You Meet A Stranger, things get stranger and stranger.  Believe it or not.  As for me, I copy that.  And move on.  Deferring judgment and  comparisons with a previous experience in a previous time, until I am old, and have more time to think about it, or not.  My blog for today, When Strangers Meet is finished.  But requires more thought.  So actually this conversation is not finished.  Or is it?