ANGELICAL GREEN

This is a blog started yesterday.  I liked the sound of it.  Title.  General idea that this could be my focus for the day.  Liked it that it was centered around the love of my life.  And its not a long story if I leave the personal details out.  On the fringe and will talk without saying things that might upset you.  Must say:

“Christmas is over.  Happy New Year.”

And when I do things like this around my house, an eye of suspicion comes into play, but it’s a yearly routine, and its just the way husband is.  Forget about it.  In a few days he will be on a new tangent, and come up with a novel way to yank the chain of family, and mostly wife, as the Littles are too small to really know what’s going on.  Little and still playing with their Christmas presents.  We try to let them be. Just be happy.  Best we can.  Home and Cupboard full of food, and it was just Christmas and presents under the tree.  The rest is adult stuff.  We carry on.

And now into the topic started yesterday.  Abandoned when the phone rang.  And now its worth the starting role in today’s blog roll.  What does that mean?  Mostly that this is a clever way to introduced the subject of imminent concern, without the children asking:  “Mommie.  Daddy.  Are you fighting?”  And we always say:  “Heaven’s No.” 

And that is the answer that works for them.  Peace on Earth.  Goodwill towards man.  Is a great way to go into the new year.  And I am looking forward to it.  But first, let me tell you about:  Angelical Green.

Angelical Green.  Long rain stops.  Shutters come down.  Gradually, an angelical green emerges.  We are thankful.  Give praise to spring and flowing water.  The thaw and negotiations.  Getting close to the truth of it all.  And close to an ocean, nautical miles away.  Separation is great.  Waves cover the distance.  In winter’s storm, many ships will sink, and yet another year passes and is not you, now unmentioned and in a watery grave. 

Count your blessings, and I do.  Search for survivors begins.  Looking for those who came ashore and now experiencing angelical green.  Landscape and State of Mind.  Christmas is over.  The New Year is about to begin.  And the children ask:  “Are you fighting?”

And in some ways, I am.  Fighting the urge to tell you everything.  Mostly, its about allowing November and December and the spending spree.  Maxing out the credit cards.  Presents under the tree.  And today she asks:  “Where are you going husband? Talk to me.”  And I give that look.  More to say, like you don’t want to know.  Don’t want to know where men go and what they must do, to provide and pay the bills and carry on, year after year. 

Presents under the tree.

But she persists.  “Tell me.”  And I do.  Going out to the field to shoot the cow/beef.  Call her Betsy.  Have to make ends meet.  Pay off the credit cards.  Get ready for a new year.  And yes, the children will notice when Betsy is missing.  But for now, its about fresh meat and coming into the new year, with our heads above water, and keeping our family operation afloat. 

Its about money.  Fiscal Cliff or some

language-of-explanation that is meant to take you off course and in a new direction.  Political Dissonance.  Christmas is over.  The jubilation is felt and now over.  Is replaced by father headed out the door.  Father is succinct.  Lots of information passed along.  Mother now knows.  We are all doing our best, but its about the debt.  To keep going there must be a change of plans. 

 

And he makes it simple.  He calls the process.  Angelical Green.  But we know, its about money and financing foreign wars, and over-spending.  And that‘s it.  We find a way.  We trust mother and father, when they say, “Heaven’s No.  Not fighting.  We love you.”

Angelical Green and is about the end of the shopping season.  Christmas is over.  New Year and we will pay the bills, one way or another.  Tis our job.  Political Football or NFL.  Tomorrow I attend the last game of the season for the Seattle Seahawks.  But there is more.  Good enough to enter the Super Bowl Tournament.  One game at a time.  The excitement mounts.  And when its finally over, be it Christmas or 2012 or the football game: somebody wins, and the rest go home  We don’t say they lost, not really.  Good teams play.  Everybody goes home, eventually. 

Its just a matter of time. 

And in the end, we explain it all.  And bookmark the experience and the process of spending and paying the bills.  By talking about it in special language.  He repeats the keywords.  Fiscal Cliff.  Over Spending.  And Spring Thaw.  Stopping the leak and the money drain.  Shoring up the sinking ship.  Going under that bridge when we come to it.  And it’s about performance and responsibility.  Just say.  Angelical Green.  Spare the details.  Don’t talk about Betsy missing.  The children will adjust.  And father and mother and nation find a way.  To pay off the debt.  And continue on.  Happy New Year.  Tis the goal.

Go  Seattle Seahawks. Just win.  And if you do.  Mother and Father will be smiling all  next week.  NFL Football.  Count your blessings, and I do.  The search for survivors begins.  Looking for those who came ashore and now experiencing angelical green.  Landscape and State of Mind.  Christmas is over.  The New Year is about to begin.  Football.  Paying the bills.  Getting ready for what lies ahead.  Angelical Green.  The money pours in and the rain stops.  Tis my blog for today.  Missing you. ( Betsy The Cash Cow.) Now nameless and unmentioned. The bills are paid.  G-D provides.  We are grateful.  And the children are safe and at play.  For this we thank you.     Amen.

Go Hawks.

 

ON THIS DAY

My life and most, are a division of labor, fortified by the gift of love received, from the sweat of difficult toil and a constant grasp of the gratitude  we share, as humanity.  It is all so fleeting, and yet the reward is great.  As we reach out and express the love we have for each other.  Having said that, I will clarify.  This is a blog dedicated to all those out there who could not be home for Christmas, nor the holidays ahead.  A sense of loss and failure when we are denied, to be with friends and family and presents wrapped and distributed on Christmas eve or day.  And it is On This Day I package all the love I have and pass it on to you.

It is symbolic.  Being together.  Expressing love.  This is the meaning behind the event.  And for some, it is but a wish and a thought that they could be with us.  Ever clear, lights become the high-light of celebratory cheer and hope and a promise for all that we wish to be in the coming year, as health and wealth and prosperity of family, all together.  .  And so it is.  A division of labor and love.  Expressed on Christmas day.   And on this day.  In a blog.

More to explain.  I live in two worlds at the same time.  One is real and can be expressed as  The-Here-And-Now.  The other is The World- The Other Side.  Detached from me, and yet flows through the veins of others, I hear their cry.  With that said, I would like to display this beautiful quote from Anonymous.  It speaks to me and is my motive for all that is, on this day.

“…. Corner iron barrels lit in the bone cold of this dark winter.  The great quest is to find a way to complete the rest of this long journey.   And to be with you.”

From where I sit, on this day I reflect upon the light, and brace for the bone cold of winter.  And yet, am warmed by the thought of you.  These are the days of difficulty.  Shattered and Torn by the winds, Heart and Soul remains the link between us.  Not all can be home for Christmas.  Some are on the other side, trapped by circumstance.  And so it is, on this day.  I reach out to you.  Hold out the promise, when it is said, “Love is Eternal.  I will be there for you.  At the end of this long journey, we call life.”

Words presented.  It is a brief assembly of all that is important to me.  Not forgotten, just not home for Christmas.  Lonely am I without you.  And yet, will endure for another year.  Saying to myself, “ Next Year in Jerusalem.”  The corner iron barrels will be lit.  Starving off the ill effects of bone cold chill and the darkness of winter and life without you close to me.  Saying, “We will find a way.   Love is eternal.”

AT MY AGE

At my age we don’t start the day with a lion’s roar, but rather with the purr and demure of a royal cat, one I adore and tribute as the perfect companion and gives me company, when in my dreams I see a royal throne and a place of splendor, just waiting for my arrival. 

Frozen in time and eternal it gives me comfort, to put cat food out and a water dish and turn up the heat to displace the morning chill, as we all get things started, day after day, and never boring, as I am centered in the mind of perfection, even as I know, The Lion’s Roar is the signal to get it all going in the right direction, picking up power and energy and by the end of the day, through the marvel of modern ways and means, its all been done and said, somewhere out there, mostly independent of me. 

And at my age, I don’t care.  I have made my peace with the setting sun.  And with you.  

New Years is but a week away.  So I implore.  Make those changes while you can.  New ways and new intentions, and at my age, the lions roar, and not so much does this influence me.  If and when I do something different, it comes with a time-release capsule that speeds things along, makes my blood thick or thinner, depending on the week and the day and the readout on my tiny app that suggests if you do this, health and wealth and happiness will be yours today. 

And at my age, we don’t believe everything we read.  But that is just the lessons of time and endurance and survival kicking in.  Let the others take on that world of better deeds and proficiency.  Get it right and you will be rewarded.  So they say.  Is the carrot they dangle in front of me.   And so far, so good.  In the history of sports and neighborhood football, we have had a good year.

And so that brings me to the point of boil, as I talk about Seattle and Seahawks, and the second NFL season that will get new life, as 2013 comes into play.  And yes, New Years is but a week away.  And tis my purpose now to share information and dedicate some of this blog space to American Football, nfl-style.

 Just to remind myself and others, NFL, stands for:  not-for-long.  Short season and before you know it, its over.  Injuries accrue.  And the teams that are still winning more than they are losing, play a single elimination tournament that gives the last team to win, a trophy and a Super Bowl reputation that they can take to the grave with them, if that’s how it goes.  A young man’s sport.  Takes strength and vitality and a lot of talent.  And so it seems, walking distance from my residence is a place where the Seattle Seahawks play football.

 

And now, more than ever, The Lion’s Roar and people are taking notice.  Winning games and doing it in style, the gossip is that these guys are on a roll, and if you play them in this tournament, be prepared.  These guys are good.  And at my age, all this comes as good news.  Restores my faith.  Gives a few more weeks of anticipation. 

And that’s it.  Win or Lose.  Looking forward to the attention that all this brings to the people of this city and area.  Seattle, a suburb of Alaska.  Have heard such things, and brings up a good belly laugh.  “How silly.”  But then I realize I am dedicated to the moment and to the integrity and respect that comes when we get things right.  And so the game is football.  Violence and Sports.  

And I am thinking.   This year is almost over.  Wink at Santa, and praise his words, as we see him and the reindeers go out of sight, “Peace Be With You.  And to all, a good night and a good year.  Just around the next bend.”  

Am beyond the point of incomprehensible guilt.  War is not my first thought, and yet football players on the front line, instilled with a warrior’s desire and mentality;  Push the opponent back, and take his place and territory, one inch at a time.  My only goal, is his defeat.  And this gets me looking for fingerprints on the glass and with my suspicious nature, a sense of injustice.  But for now its just a game.   

 

By repetition and doing, and consent, we buy a ticket and pay the price for letting things become an everyday correspondence, one with the 15 year old, playing combat games on the video console.  Teaching by doing, and without hesitation, taking the field with young lions and players, on their way to victory at The Super  Bowl.  Just a game.   But yes, what a game and the way they play it inspires me.  Super Bowl Champions.  2013.  Go Hawks.  

Young Lions going to war.  Is that it?  Making New Year’s Plans, and I ask again.  “Is that all there is?  Young men at war?”  And the reassurance of The Elders saying, “No worries.  Its just a game.”  WE choose to play.   And give to our children.  Best we can do.  Presents under the tree.  An autographed football.  The subscription reads, “Go Hawks.”  Bought at a store.  Signed by their star players.  Leaves us wanting more.  

And like I was saying, New Years is but a week away  Make those changes while you can.  And at my age, the time is now.  And I live in peace.  One day at a time.  At my campsite.  Honor morning and sunrise and the chance to suggest.  Better Times Are Coming.  2013.  A New Year. 

TIME AND PLACE

TIME and PLACE

I want to write a blog before Christmas arrives.  One week out and I will twist and shout my way to completion.  Find someplace moderately comfortable.  Put out the Do-Not-Disturb sign and dedicate both time and place to meeting your goal.  Am frustrated, as I can not get my mind on shopping and the material concourse that often looks like an urban shopping mall to me.  Times are changing.  More online shopping, and the experience eludes me for the moment.  Wonder why?  And take a slogan from the 2012 Presidential Election:  "Its’ the economy, stupid."  

And that is my wake up call.  Am transported into the zone where we assume the stupid position, and quickly discount the idea.  Less affluent, and won’t have to worry about taxing the rich to make up the deficit and boost sales.  Ok, so I am not traveling first class.  But neither am I walking to the relatives house for the holidays.  Time and Place.  My topic for today.

Time and Place, and am currently sending thoughts of a speedy recovery, and home for Christmas, to a friend of mine who just happens to be in the hospital at this time.  Brief visit and completion of a procedure, and then we say, "Good as New."  And the positive affirmation and spirit I send.  To all who don’t happen to be in the perfect place for receiving their gifts and being with family, this time of year.  

Mayan prophecy about the end of time, and it all goes down hill from this point, 2012, and has been in the headlines now that it seems we are in the zone.  Best happen now, or we can say, "Just another myth and talking point.  Forget about it."  And I probably will.  But won’t forget about those recovering from some procedure or event.  Want to send flowers, but truth is time and place and protocol limit me from doing so.  And so I say a quiet, "Amen."  

And think of the best of outcomes.  Is what I am doing just now.  Done as a sunrise to sunset meditation on all the positive things I can recall, when thinking of you.  Happiness sets in.   The spell is cast.  And it makes me happy that you will be home for Christmas, and resting in the arms of friends and family and in your own bed.  Time and Place.

In the context of holiday activities, time and place are important.  Where are you?  Are you at your destination, or just getting ready for a week of travel.  Horse and Wagon, or modern car, can’t get my head around the proposition that I just don’t know where you are?  Theoretically, maybe its best not to know.  By nature I am inquisitive.  And yet, am of the current predisposition to just hang up, and take a hike, down to the edge of river or just find a place near water, where I can relax and look in your direction.  

Searching the four corners of a map, zoning in on where I think you might be.  But the truth is, I don’t know where to begin.  Time and Place and disturbed by the sounds of others, and other aspects of urban sprawl.  Holidays and I need to choose where I need to be.  Wander around, looking for you, or just settle near a fire and wait for you to make the long journey home.  Home in time for Christmas.  Now this gets me to thinking.  Is this really possible?  Time and Place.  And I wonder.  
Are we close?

Tell myself to take a deep breath.  Put all my worries on the back burner.  Turn off the lights and turn down the furnace.  Time to commit and do something, even if its not what I really wanted to do.  Stories inspire me.  Blogs also do that this time of year.  Like to read about the experiences of others.  Like to see photographs of a well decorated home, with tree and lights and presents under the tree.  And this has to be a flexible life situation. 

Want to be with you, and yet for many years now, it hasn’t been that way.  Separation exists.  Tax the Rich.  Extend goodwill to the very poor, and something nourishing to eat.  Tis the holiday and we must seek that special place and that special time, when and where for one brief moment in time, we can put away our worries and find that joy-filled inner journey that connects us all.  And with that I relax.  Take a deep breath.  Am happy now.  Time and Place.  And I Love You.

RENEWED INSISTENCE

RENEWED INSISTENCE

I have decided the power of words is my best call to action.  Fingers dance on keyboard.  Holiday and we light candles and give thanks for oil and a place to find sanctuary.  Simple actions and thought give birth to flares in the darkness, and illumination in the moment, when walls close in and cast shadow all around.  And so it is I welcome the holidays and the decorations in windows, making hope and promise come alive.  

Gifts of the Season.  Renewed Insistence that we are making the best of it, without spending money we don’t have, and running up the credit cards.  It is a process.   Giving and Receiving.   Love.

The month of December speeds along.  Renewed insistence that this is the way it should be.  Tradition.  Change nothing or very little in how we decorate and celebrate and give praise to it all.  And then suddenly.  Last Call.  Time to empty your glasses and go home.  Lights Out at 2 a.m.  Deals are to be had, but the window of opportunity shrinks and sends a ripple into the consumer ranks.  Extra-ordinarily capable of spending another dollar, we don’t.    Carry on. 

We still have time.  

Presents in the closet.  Tree standing near the fireplace.  Holiday Cards in the mail.  And with that I have the confidence to just sit in my easy chair, no issues for the rest of the year.  Goodwill Extended.  I am proud to be here where you can find me.  Rest.  Talk.  Be grateful for your friendship and your presence.  Is how it is for me.  Holidays and December 2012.  Devoted to you.  And universal peace and love.

Rooted in the belief that this is proper, am still in an imperfect world, seeking love and understanding.  And a little more time with you.  Holidays and Happiness is all I seek.  December and its clear, only so many shopping days are left.  And this provokes a showdown.  Between just one more stocking stuffer or just a walk, hand in hand along the river bank, suggesting we are good to go.  No more fussing.  Make time for fun.

Its up to you how this is to be done.

Makes me light up to think of all the ways,

Fun happens.  

Renewed Insistence to hold the line on spending.  No more standing in line to get a bargain.  Black Friday Silly and I am over it.  No more presents, just love.  And that’s it.  Starving and broke, but full of love.  That’s it. Yikes.   Christmas and Holidays  2012.  Last Call.  Now go home.  I will see you tomorrow.  Cheers.

120 KLICKS

120 KLICKS

 

Getting it all started by saying, “Klick is a common military term.  Means kilometer and refers to distance.  And in Canada is slang for kilometer, either speed or distance.  For those of us on speed, you would hear us say, “I am doing about a 120 klicks.”  Speed Kills.  And so if you are going long distances in the car this holiday season.  Caution is Advised.  But not by me.  I go at full speed and a little more.  Have I ever been arrested?   Not for being under the influence. 

So its just a matter of knowing, icy roads and long distances and blurred vision and lack of sleep all combine to make the process of going to Grandmother’s house more difficult.  120 Klicks and reminds me of so many things, on this fine winter’s day.  Be Prepared.

Running around the surface, looking for you.  In my youth I would always go too far, and just before the New Years, would repent for all the times I missed you.  Twas difficult for me.  Being young.  Being on a different system.  She would say, “Right.  Metrics and you can’t add and keep up with me.  Oh well.  Your loss.”  And it was.  120 Klicks and it was a kiilometre thing.  Miles and Dollars and Common Sense.  Missing.  Incorrect calculations at best.  And she was 120 Klicks away, but I could never find her.  So tis the time of year, when memories flood in, when morning shades open, and the light reaches me.  Never would I change a thing.  Stubborn Man.  I am.

 

In my heart, I know where I stand.  And where I stand with you.  What love means, when it is 120 Klicks away, I will leave it to your imagination.  But I know.  Long ago, figured out what was important this time of year.  Holiday Lights and some travel.  General conditions prevail.  I miss you.  Past Behavior speaks for itself.  Great Loss is Legend.  Oh the stories I could tell.  Heartbreak and Mutual Disturbance.  The Beatles.  Let It Be. 

“…. When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me.  Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

It all happens in 120 Klicks.  A really difficult time.  Had problems.  There was a breakup.  In the back of my mind, I wanted it to be you.  Only you.  But often, that is not how things work.  Never mind the flirtations and affairs on a mental level.  Was too busy to attend, and figure out the gap in the system being used.  Cultural Imperatives, and I was clueless.  Knew only one way, and in the maze leading to my heart, it locked you out. 

And yes, at the time, was really living and playing hard.  That was the truth behind everything.  And before I know it 5 years came and went, and love became dream-like.  I made it up.  Took safe passage.  Went where the wind would blow.  Lasted longer than I expected.  Blown off course.

 Without you.

And there it is.  120 Klicks away.  Staring at me through shinning eyes.  Reflections and Light and Christmas at the mall.  All so pretty.  Easy to get lost in the moment.  Spend more on material pursuit than you intended.  In the flow.  Don’t fight it.  Let it work out.  Tis the season.  120 Klicks Away.  Reality and Fantasy:  side by side.  I miss you.  A little more each year.  The Memorial Service:  For Things Never Had, or Suddenly Gone Missing.  Time speeds by, like a fast rabbit and a Mercedes in high gear.  And is the statement I want to make:  Roads are Dangerous this time year.  Be careful.  One and All.  On your way to love. 

And Family.  120 Klicks.