House Call

House Call

 

He has these thoughts in his head, and is looking for somewhere to put them.  So he blogs, and decides that once written and posted, he is done with it.  But of course, one often has to reckon with the sub-conscious and nightmare-ish dreams that materialize, just when you want to wake up and get started with your day.  He wants to welcome the new day, and welcome himself to the new-normal.  But then comes a conflict in terminology and he knows he needs to choose his words more carefully.  “Whoa Nelly.”  And is not sure if he is talking to his horse, long gone and not really accounted for, as they went from Farm to City, and in the shuffle he could not get a permit for the horse.  So old story,  some things got lost in the shuffle.

 

House Call.  My blog for today.  Who is present and who is not?  Could be the issue for today, if I could get past the word play.  Aberration.  New Normal.  What does it matter when I can’t find the toothbrush, nor the hairbrush.  Quite a tangle and must say, “Its raining.  The grass isn’t quite as green as it will be in a few days, thanks to the abundance of run-off.”  And this is everything you ever wanted to know, and more.  Too much information and what does any of this have to do with me?  Is something I often ask, when I come online and put the google page on center stage.  Look at what is presented, and have doubts about the new normal, but then decide that if I have a cup of tea or coffee and some toast, my blood sugar levels will get where it is easier for me to digest what I see.

Meet and Greet, and gentle myself into a new day, even if it seems like yesterday’s repeat, and I have but one hat to wear, as you webcast me and I am out there, making a first impression to all the new viewers in the world.  Which brings me to my starting point.  Australia and Queensland.  Is wide-lens material that now puts weight on the subject:  House Call.  “Where am I?  Do I have permission to enter, or even knock on the door, that seems to be right in front of me?”  Non-traditional blog when you take it world-wide.  And it’s the new security that intrigues me as I wonder:  “Am I safe.  Do I have to worry about what I drink or eat?”  And with that, his mind wanders.  The attention span without tea or coffee is just 8 seconds.  And it all comes to the point of recognition, when he says, “Aberration.  Alternative Thinking and Outcome. Where is all this taking me, when I post such things online?”

 

Sometimes  I just want to know.  About the horse.  “Was its name really Nelly?”  Tied up and secure, and before I could get back on topic,  Urban Density had increased and we changed places.  Rural and Urban populations changing places, and it happened in my lifetime.  And now, it is as if that is more important than what happen to the horse, and if it really mattered if it was Nelly, or a branded name, like Trigger.  Flash on that thought, and get distracted.  Roy Roger and his horse.  White Hat and for a while it was important to me, that this was the world I woke up to.  Gone now.  I have nightmares.  I don’t like to wake up and immediately dwell on recalling what flashed before me and made me wonder.  “Is any of this real?”

He said it then, knowing it could not be repeated later.  It was that toxic.  “I had this dream and it was scary.  Would like to tell you about it, but more than 2/3rds of it has been forgotten, and I have been awake but 30 minutes, and still no tea or cup of coffee.

 

Halloween and it occurs now.  That is today.  And tonight.  The children in costumes and out and about, doing The Trick or Treat Routine.   Wonder if any of that influenced me, and was represented by the dream/nightmare that brought me into this day.  Know its  beyond Feminism, and until November 8^th in America, is but still a dream.  First woman president in America.  First Lady of a President becomes First Lady of the position, POTUS.  Have decided its like rural and urban, we have made a change.  For the better, and I am surely not the one to incorporate that into the dream or nightmare I just had.  Halloween and it occurs to me now, it is but one day and it will be over soon.  Almost noon, and it has taken me this long to sort things out, and then just let it go.

House Call and even if you do not open your door to me,  I will leave it on your doorstep.  Words and thoughts and my Halloween Mask.  Don’t need it.  Live in a high rise with good security in downtown Seattle.  Kids stay local and don’t know the elevator codes to get to me.  For this I am thankful.  But still a little sad.  I forgot where I tied my horse, and say, “Whoa Nelly.”  But then realize,  none of that is important now.  Is Halloween and 2016.  That is now.  Urban density and what happens when you turn the kids loose, tracking down some free candy, and it makes me wonder.  Aberration or new normal, and he wants to know.  “How long has this been going on?  Are we safe?”

 

Seems like the day has passed me by.  Waking up at 5 am and at first I thought it was the key to health and happiness, and that if I woke up feeling happy, it would stay with me for most of the day.  Then as it becomes known, I become aware that others celebrate Halloween, and do so by posting a selfie online and on their blog.  Make my way to Blog Space, with the intention of posting the blog I just wrote.  But then something terribly disturbing happens. 

 

A Selfie.  Not Me, but disturbing never-the-less.  Don’t ask what she was wearing at the time the selfie-picture was taken.  Just say, “Whoa Nellie.”  And leave it at that.  Dressed up or dressed down.  These selfie pictures go online and get around.  

Disturbing, but still the alarm has yet to go off in my brain. 

Nightmare on Elm Street and its’ sequels and was able to manage that without any permanent damage.  But now, without warning, am faced with The Selfie, but its not me.  And it is not anybody I really want to get to know.  Paralysis happens.  Freeze Frame and in the moment, and it is really too much.  Pop Up and Images, and it is like nothing I have ever seen before.  But like I said.  “I have forgotten.  But at the time I wanted to tell you about my dream.  I thought it might interest you.”

 

And that’s it.  House Call. Halloween Selfie just showed up.  It was scary, when later on it occurred to me:  “She looks like my first girlfriend and was it not for the draft and VietNam Call Up, we would have been married.”

Replacement Therapy

Replacement Therapy

 

Have some time on my hands and thought I might blog.  Not sure that it will be satisfying, and truth be told, I have to be the one that makes that call.  Early morning and it seems appropriate to have some quiet time and self-indulgence.  Starting off with a warm cup of tea, and solitude.  Have changed a few things around me, much like moving the furniture and putting a few mood altering pictures on the wall.  A change of décor, no matter how minor and it elevates the way I feel.  The title reflects my new sensitivity.  Replacement Therapy and it is like I have been on a year-long 

program of behavior modification.

 

Therapy and it is almost hospital or doctor speak, and that is appropriate as I have been sick for almost 3 weeks now.  Just now recovering, and did not end up in the hospital, nor did I get a second opinion about the condition, “my condition was in.”  Just did the man-cave and solo treatment of a common problem:  The Winter Cold.    But it wasn’t simple like that, and in 10 days I was in a body trance and did only the minimal things to keep the heart beating and the body functioning.  Lost 20 pounds of body weight, and yet at 190 pounds I did have a few pounds to lose. 

 

So I was sick for most of October and now I am feeling good enough to sit and blog.  I count that as a verifiable improvement.  Gradual, but perhaps now that it is Fall and Winter and yes, holiday things to interfere, but if things go as it seems they might, blogging might be one of the new ways for 2017 that I manage my time and my priorities for activity and positive change.

  

Because of my recent illness it came easy to me to start out thinking:  Replacement Therapy.  As if sickness was in the air and spreading.  Common cold and being in public and before you know it, you have a minor sneeze and perhaps sinus problems and perhaps if you smoke,  more coughing and difficult to catch your breath.  So this is one point of reference.  The body and what happens when you are not feeling well.  And to invoke change one must make some changes, and of course when one speaks of the body and natural aging and changes, we all see what happens to our parents over time, and in some small way, prepare.

 

Think perhaps I could come up with a better set of words to explain what is unconsciously on my mind.  Starts with the idea that for the last 3 years I have been bombarded by a presence that seems to be media-controlled.  Like somebody got the idea that it would be okay to start talking about change and perhaps in the same context, talk about all those things that might not be good for you.  Like, lifestyle and ways of being. 

 

And before it became obvious to me,  each day had a section in the Sports and News and Weather part of my mind, that had nothing to do with me.  Quietly, it was more about somebody else’s agenda and now its all becoming clear to me.  3 years ago and they were planting seeds and hoping for a beneficial harvest .  Elections 2016 in America and now that is all but 15 days away.  But it all started 3 years ago and it seems, its part of the conditions that have left me sick.  Sick in October of 2016, and finally I took a home cure and my DIY (do-it-yourself ) method of caring for me.

 

Switch gears.  Noticed what others were doing and saying, but made up my mind:  This would not work for me.  And so I have had an up-hill struggle, but it seems to have served as a test pattern and space for gradual improvement in the way I am and the way I live.  Ignore the things that do not directly apply to the quality of life, you are working towards.  Say it this way, because it is an on-going effort and event.  Quality of Life, and behavior modification as the world changes around you, and you are determined to maintain some control on what happens next.

 

Comes down to choosing the right words and examples in story or blog form to explain myself.  Instead of saying, Replacement Therapy, I will simplify by saying: “Replacement.   Substitutes.  Alternative.”  And remind myself this is my blog and my body and in my man-cave a world of my own making, based on the thoughts within.  As if early morning invites eggless-everything and breakfast scrambles include new ingredients, and much different than during the time of my youth, which was in my case, The 1950’s.  The Dark Ages.

 

And here I am.  2016 and in 15 days or less, will be voting for a new set of leaders in the community where I live, and in the nation, a new President of the United States will be selected by a voting process that on the surface, seems appropriate and done with fairness.  15 days and all those things that seemed to be nipping at my heels, and setting up the conditions for my general well-being, that in October of 2016, culminated in a major sickness and condition of not-being-well, and barely functioning for me. 

 

Nice to report, it is but 3 weeks later and I am getting use to the idea that all this external activity around me, did contribute to the very condition:  Not feeling well.  Really sick.  And now I am in recovery.  Each day and I find myself feeling better.  Well enough to sit and blog.

Not saying that life for me is a basket full of peaches and cherries, but  can say, “Regardless Of my personal involvement with Walking Pneumonia and just making due, my life and situation is improving and I can see a positive outcome, for all that has occurred.”   In reflection I can see back 3 years or more, and put things in its proper place.  The people around me have contributed to the way I feel, and the sickness recently experienced.  Not in a position to take this issue  or my findings to court, and prove in official terms that none of this has been for my betterment.   

 

Rather, I have settled on an alternative course of action.  Will go vote on November 8^th or sooner, if I do it by mail.  Will let my vote speak for me.  And then I am done.  3 years of effort of the part of others to influence me, and I can say without hesitation, “I am still me.  Your years of media influence did reach me, but in the end I blocked it out.  Found a better way to deal with this Replacement and substitute and alternative world you put in front of me.  I survived.”

 

And it pleases me that indeed, this is true for me.  I am still here.  Ignoring you.  And soon it will be over.  Elections and big money influence and persuasion reaching down to get me in your camp.  And in the end, I am still me.  Doing what is good for me.  Like blogging.  Airing my opinion in a folksy way.  Home spun.  Man-Cave practical.  And now I’m done.  Its time to get on with things that are about me.  Eating.  Sleeping.  Quality of Life.  Find something that works for me, and ignore the media-driven advice and opinions of others.  Be Local.  Think Wide.

 

But then realize it is no fun being degraded or made sick by the presence and influence of others, not you.  Replacement of the generational flock and let youth and middle age have their way.  Enjoy where I am today.  Retired.  Out of Circulation.  Equally misunderstood and replaced.  But in the end, its Replacement Therapy that keeps me in my place and helps me cope with the changing ways and times of the world I find myself in.  America and 2016.  And it pleases me to say, “I was sick.  But now I am in recovery and doing quite well, considering the past 3 years and how it contributed to the condition, my condition was in.”

 

The Untruth Franchise

The Untruth Franchise

 

Denial and lying about who and what and doing so with style and empty content, is what this blog will be all about.  Plan to have some fun, and does it matter that it might be at your expense.  Pass the cost onto the consumer.  Solid advice taken and recycled.  Matters not that for year ahead, the unborn children of this land will pay the price for unrealistic handling of living problems, we choose to ignore.  It didn’t happen.  ‘Who Me.”   Makes me wonder what  happens when you mention to the individual born in 1999:  “how about those Yankees.  Losing.  VietNam.”   And now I say, wait for it.  The blank look on youth’s face, when they want to ask, “Are you done now.  Can we go to school?”

 

It is not like I am planning to get into The Shark Tank all by myself, nor surf a tsunami without a life-vest, but risks and doing easy things for fun and profit, might be on the schedule for today.  Remember back in the old days, before selfies and cell phone camera, where the pretty little Miss and yourself would stuff their bodies in a small enclosure and for $1   ( a dollar maybe ), would pose and take pictures, and would get 4 tiny pictures on a strip of paper, and if you were so inclined, could keep them forever, as filler for your memory book.  Never did get a year book from High School.  Never saw what others would write or say about me.

 

As is the case, then:  more so now.  I am a ghost.  I don’t take responsibility for any of this.  I am a ghost.  And I own an Untruth  Franchise.  Wonder if the reader is surprised at this.  For me,  there is no future.  Only the present as it presents itself in real terms for me.  ‘Deal With It.”   There will be no consequences for cheating and lying and then at the end,  a full denial.  Enter the 2017 version of the Twilight Zone.  The Slow Motion Booth.  Seen and Analyzed.  Over and over.  Time is not a factor.  Replay and then:  ‘Go Away.”   And that’s how this will be done.  Over and Over.

 

Death and denial follow me around.  Live and in real time, but that hardly matters, as I proudly possess an Untruth Franchise.  Am proud of what I have and what I do.  Am probably the original,  “Forget About It Kid.”  You might want to request more information.  What’s this VietNam thingy you mention?  Didn’t happen on my watch, so if its important to you, maybe we can schedule a day and time, when we sit around and drink, and you can tell me war stories.  Not sure that we are taking in  the scope of all this.

 

The Children hear and respond in a certain way.   Its all new for them.  For their parent’s, well they are old people and have a reason for all the things they say and do, but let’s face it, ‘I am seriously looking into buying an  Untruth  Franchise.  After that, well we will see how it goes.  Will there be any common ground, or will we just go our separate ways.  Won’t know until I have more experience.   That’s tomorrow.  Today  I am on track to eat breakfast,  open the door, and go to school.  Where I will learn my lessons.    That’s the plan

 

“Liar.  Liar.  Pants on Fire.”  Is there a problem here?  I think it depends on one’s point of view and approach.  Lately,  I have been looking in the rear view mirror.  Wondering if Satchel Page is out there.  It is not important now.  Yet, for me some of his words still linger in my mind.

 

Quotes from the Satchel Page era:  1906 to 1985.  Old news.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

I ain't ever had a job, I just always played baseball.

Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common.

The only change is that baseball has turned Paige from a second class citizen to a second class immortal.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

 

And remember:  In The Untruth Franchise.  None of this ever happened.  Never said.  Never Read.  Never and Forever.  We made it up.  “That’s what I am saying.”

 

Nothing More

Nothing More

It has been a couple of hours now, since I wrote down this title:  Nothing More on a blank white Microsoft word document.  Saved it and then did all the things required to care-take my morning .  On the other-side of that sentence is the mere fact that I will be going out soon, have a movie and lunch date, and am looking forward to it.  Social Interaction of the positive kind.

When I first wrote down, ‘…..Nothing More….’, I asked myself.  “Do you really believe that, Mr. Stoney Blogger Guy?”

 

Gave it a rest and time to ferment in my mind.  Was like a branch tree or matrix and it had many ways to a pathway of inquiry and rebuttal.  In the end,  I decided to make this blog the least of my worries.  Was like there was a canyon between  “This is true.  And “This couldn’t possibly be true.”  Meaning of life, and you have your time in body and consciousness, and then we have to face it.  There is Nothing More. 

 

So now I am in denial.  Not sure why I approached this subject in the first place.  Usually for me, a title is but a starting point for blogging.  Is like it is a challenge to complete the thought or sentence or paragraph or blog.  But then its like I am facing a stone wall.  Lined up.  Firing Squad in front of me.  And I have to tell myself.  

“Nothing More.  Deal with it.”

There are times when one’s options run out.  The complexities are greater that the simple statement.  “There is nothing more.”

And reflecting at the crossroads I have brought myself to, surrounded by all this material stuff, I am absolutely sure,  There is more.  Molecules rearranging and staring out into the night sky, and how to account for all that is now being seen from space ships and sattalites with elaborate cameras and computers and programs for seeing so much more than was visible at the time of my birth:  1943.  Reflection magnifies the question and I ask myself, how can I say, “Nothing More.” 

Did I mean to say, “There is nothing more for me to say on this subject.  So I should not continue on and add conjecture to something that others have pondered and considered, longer than I.  “Nothing more to say, is more realistic to me, and my present situation, rather than, at the end of all of this, standing in front of a stone wall.  There is nothing more.  Nothing more and is an odd way to start a conversation.

But all of this is inspired and influence by the bombardment of media and message and fact and fiction, and I have seen for myself how ludicrous it is to believe a lot of the experience that is transpiring in my surround.  FALL of 2016.  Elections in America, and it is this that has me thinking and writing :  ‘…Nothing More.”   Now it makes sense.  Good to have context to set boundaries.   People will vote.  The vote will be counted.  Some will still be center stage.  Others will exit center stage and we will carry on. 

Nothing More and so is with that in mind, am thinking:  Trust The Process.  Go with your best instincts on the matter.  Odd behavior by one of the candidates in this Presidential Election.  Behavior and let it speak for itself.  Nothing more to say about that.

 But if that is true, and have opened up a can of worms, what next?   Nothing More and what makes me say that?  Is life so simple that we are born, live and then die/perish and that’s it?  Nothing more.  Then I look around, and from the core of my being I have so much more to say about all that.  “…. nothing more…”  Perhaps in the individual sense,  you could say something like that.  But its just what you are saying, your opinion.  Religions and Nations have been founded around this subject.  Now we are talking about sending human to Mars.  Will they go.  Then perish.  And then Nothing More.  I doubt it.

But that is the mystery of all this.  Just saying it:

 “Nothing more.  Deal with it.”  Leads to so many unknowns that I can hardly configure a space in this blog,  for my thoughts.  And so it, will say no more.  Not that there is nothing more to say, but rather as long as I am human, and am alive, I must keep moving forward.  Forward for me is lunch and a movie with family/friend and being out there, involved with a social interaction that leads me to believe. 

 “There is more.”