Autumn Alchemy

Autumn Alchemy

He wants to say,  “I need a little help.  Volunteer, please.”

Seems the process is too big for just one, and nature takes over and leaves frustration and puzzle in the palm of my hand.

Trunkless tree of stone casting a shadow as leaves fall upon me and keep me down.  Gold and crimson and the stench of rot come to mind, but not to me.

Greater than what I can consider, forest leaves now in city, and here to stay.  For a day or two they remain, but then are lashed with wind to circulate.

 At this point, I realize that even the small branch is connected, and some force greater than I is directing or dissecting this activity  that holds me down and makes me its slave.


 

Trunk and Fossil

Unlockable secret and  autumn leaves processed by the alchemy of ages and its mysterious that the arrival now of century old secrets come to him, as he holds this fossilized stone in the palm of his hand.  The world around him is dying, and he sounds no alarm.  Tells nobody and this too is alarming.  Takes the fall and hardness as if it is but the purpose of all things.  Alchemy and Leaves.  Leaves him speechless.

Branch Tree
 

“Help, please.”  Am trapped in here.  Leaves in stone and by the formula of nature’s branch tree calculus I am here to stay. 

 

Life –Changing

 

There is no one thing that makes this all perfect.  Yet it is.  Semi-circling seminal life and the drift to meaning comes ever so slowly.

Generations pass.  I find this fascinating that it comes at the end of summer.

Embedded in rock and fossilized.  Autumn Leaf.  Life-shape not disbanded as nature’s pattern resurrects what was.

A leaf.

Now so many and they pile upon me, and suffocation is not a remote possibility, but something we can experience and brings to consciousness.

 Autumn Leaves.

Disbelief And Human Nature

Disbelief is the smile nature puts upon my lips.  Hardened over time, I will not resist.  Nature’s way.  Offer an explanation, but only as science permits.   Must find a balance between life and everything else.  Will let the process justify my helplessness.   Autumn Leaves in Fossilized Rock and with a dna-trace you will find me.  Crossing the generational line and passing it on.  Hardened over time.




 

 Nature’s smile upon my lips. In Life continues Promise.  Yours and mine.

The Divine Classroom

What lessons serve me as I hold this leaf in the palm of my hand?

Earth School has them placing me upon the ground, and in time am covered.

Layers pile up.

Nature is a magnificent machine.

It completes me.

Think.  Grand Canyon Majesty.

With my own eyes.  I have seen it.

Autumn Leaf Falling

Individual hurt and pain is not to be found in the palm of my hand.

I hold this leaf and do not personalize the event.

Aging should not be personal.

Is Nature’s Alchemy.

We should accept it.

Roots down into earth and spreads, taking us with that which makes life possible.

Living in the moment

Enchanted by a single leaf

In the palm of his hand.

Now fossil and we view this on two levels.

Then.   And now.

How lovely.

Street Level Broken Dreams

Street Level   Broken Dreams 

 

 

“Abandonment should not be expected.”  And so it is I am present.  Present myself and in doing so, provoke another fake news controversy.  See myself as a designated space saver until something more important comes along. 

 

Not sure if this is true or if it is my imagination.  Opinion skewed.  Translation loses meaning as I move around, from top to bottom and side to side.

First thoughts as morning finds itself around me.  Street Level.  Broken Dreams.   

Wakes up to reality screaming.  

 

the lead-in banner suggests a bad start to the perfect day, and that we should just defer until tomorrow.  It is a real turn-off.  "... to say ....wakes up to reality screaming.  Like the refrain of a song I like, it plays over and over, imprinting me to that which is suggested.  Street level and the broken dreams of so many.  We call them homeless, but this is only partially true.  They choose to not do what you are doing, and choose to live at street level.  Quite a contrast to the million dollar high-rise taking over the skyline, just outside and a few blocks away from my viewing window.  

 

 "Why are you telling me this?"   

 

Detected and reported so it must be true.  Street Level traffic and noise drowns out the passage of the sorrow we carry with us.  No place to go but up, they build skyscrappers and blue-window abodes in the sky.  More than just a reflection of where we are, is pleasant to know,  we cannot hear the screaming, and so for us on cloud 9 and in Tower 12, it is a good day.  By definition, this is true.  No biting.  No hitting.  NO screaming.  Adds up to having a good day.

The echo is persistent.  "Why are you telling me this?"  

 

Carpal tunnel airport fantasy and it is ours to wonder.  "Where are we going with all of this?"  "What is the final destination, please be brief?"

 

Woke up screaming.  Am a little worried I have lost my audience.  Changed blog sites.  From thoughts.com to ThinkR.something.  xyz perhaps.    Realize these people do not know me or why I write the things I do.  Can't replicate their existence in a single sentence.  Can't make this a better day, if it isn't meant to be.  Fatalistic and predetermined, are the things I do.  Blog routine.  Write.  Post.  Go Away.

 

I want you to be okay with all of this, but have no power to change even one thing, if you are not okay or okay with what is written here.  Its the NET.  Is a lot like street level and our broken dreams.  There are days when it matters little what we think or do.  Down there where I am,  the world comes alive.  Wakes up screaming.  

 

What remains unverified at this time is the idea that when the world wakes up screaming, I am unhappy or disturbed.  "Precisely the opposite."   He said.  But then does not elaborate.  Stands with hands in pockets inviting the cold silence of morning, knowing it won't be long before the people come down from the towers he is precluded from entering by a polite security guard that says over and over, "Entrance Denied.  Move on."  Not sure the voice is human.  AI-Alexis and artificial reality and dumbing-down has taken over. 

Then comes the commuter bus and the street comes alive.  Is ordinary weekday chaos.  People trying to get to work, make a living and go home to their family.  To me it sounds like screaming, but I am above it all, looking down and really can't hear what is really going on down there at street level, and with the people.  Broken dreams and screaming.  For some that is true.  For others, its just what is.  Noisy city and is where they work.  Came here for the money.  Pure and Simple.  It is just what it is.  Another day.  And everybody has a story to tell.  If only I had time to listen.  

 

Signatories of Diminishment

Signatories of Diminish.Meant  

 

When the leaves fall in September is this a sign from higher power that we should retreat to the comfort of a warm fire and close the doors on all things, outside.  Makes me think:  Signatories of Diminishment and has me leaning in a certain direction, moving me to bodies with warm and rising desire.  But wait, falling leaves do not necessarily mean the demise of those things, I find scared.  What does it mean when seasons change and after the fall comes Dreaded Winter?

 

Have been hit with a wave from the other side.  Surfing expert I am not.  Was floored, if indeed I had been in my living room.  But on a cruise and without a paddle, had been warned.  “Don’t stand too close to the edge.”  And didn’t realize standing at the railing on a cruise ship watching for signs of life and sunset, was also what they might have been referring to, when they said, ‘…don’t stand too close to the edge.”  Rolling with the swell and rising sea, my grasp of all of this is not steady.   

 

Have not attained sea-legs nor the queasiness that comes, as we pull away from land and seek something else.  Facts not grounded and seems to crash down upon me, as if the storm has found me, and these are the consequences.  Drenched.  Chill.  Now shiver.  Hyperthermia  and feeling as if I didn’t belong in this world.  At sea.  Was suppose to be a special voyage.  Turning out to be a replication.  TITANIC.  1920 something and will be followed by depression.  At the lowest point,  towers of water crashing down, and I wonder, “Climate Change and Me.  Is it happening now?  How will this impact me?”

Winter arrives after the fall.  I am venerable now.  The stink of rot, I can smell.

Broken.  Can it be fixed?   To the signatories of diminishment I appeal.

“What is your final answer?”

The  price I paid and is there justice.  Market-place conditions fueled by demand and supply.  Should have known better that I could not buy my way out of the condition, my condition is in.  Avoid errors, but did not.  Had no reference guide to the consequence of a nuclear world.  Didn’t see the dangers of remaining divided.  Didn’t take any of this seriously.  World War 2 was over.  Crematorium of Auswitz was shut down.  Thought that was enough.  Enemy vanquished.  But then POGO on Sunday cartoon times, gave me hints of a greater truth.  “I have seen the enemy.  It is Us.”  At the time this was satire and humor.  Now it is not.  Is the price I paid.  For sins of the father.   Happening now.  Winter follows Fall.  Prepare.

 

Comparative studies and it makes me think.  Should I have paid more attention to what the Poets said?  About life.  About Change.  About Fall.  About Winter.  And this has me repeating the refrain.  The Price Paid.”    And leave it dangling as if it is just part of a familiar song.  That gains in significance and power, the more times it is heard.  Bill of Rights and did we get this one wrong.  Is this for us to decide, or did our forefather’s cement the pact when they became the signatories of diminishment?  Unsure what any of this means now.  Done before there were so many people on the planet.  Done before civil war and world war and then followed by winter,  The Fall was more than 1 and 2.  War continues, if not just in the mind.  Conflict is a better war, often undeclared.  Fallout and radiation, and he wonders.  Standing at the rail, must he move closer to see it as it is,  the sun rising and a new day.  Cruise Ship activities and is too soon to tell,  if disappointment and diminishment returns, when we dock and go landside and back into the moment of civilized behavior,  standing under a tree, watching the leaves fall?

 

What did the poets say about all of this.  Was I listening?  And if so,  did I understand the filth and rot that comes with maturity and then decay?  Probably not.  Had other things to do.  At that time, a signatory of diminishment,  I was not.

And now we know.  Things are different now.  Season’s change.  Fall becomes Winter.  Better Life becomes a week spent on a cruise ship, untethered from land.  Mouth of the Lion opens.  Whales appear.  Storms crash down upon us.  In the path of death and destruction we lean.  And I hear a voice from beyond calling.  “Don’t get too close to the edge. That includes the rail.”

 

Call on me for an answer, but do not be disappointed when you don’t hear the perfect response to that inquiry.  Winter doesn’t always mean harsh conditions.  The Fall doesn’t mean you can’t get up and retain your balance and freedom of movement.  FALL and is it but a calendar date that tells us we our moving from one season to another?  Signatories of Diminishment and I call on you for an answer that completes my inquiry.  “What does this have to do with me?”

Final Answer.  Listen to what the Poets said.  Their words are eternal.  Transports us across time.  And makes our short time among the seasons, perfectly clear.  We are part of all of this.  And yes,  is temporary.  Our Fate.  Belongs to a greater realm beyond the authority of the signatories of diminishment that reside in life as we know it.  Not at sea.  Just earth-bound.  Is our reality.  What the Poets Said.

Fall becomes Winter.  Now Chill. 

 

Aspire To A Higher Authority

Aspire To Higher Authority

 

Weekend Lite.  It is Saturday morning.  Checked the email and now the morning news.  Ask myself, “What’s on my schedule now that I don’t need to go shopping?”  Is a problem I solved during the week.  Bought a second car and just left it in the driveway.  Said,  “You can drive it, if you go shopping first and stock the shelves for the things I need.”  Was smart, and now I have a lot of free time.   So was checking to see if there were any college football games that had my name on it, and was a must watch situation.  None were found.  Now am looking around.  Wrote it down,  but wasn’t sure how it would fit in my day.

 

“Aspire To A Higher Authority.”  Stared at this for a while, and decided it could be my picture-blog for the following week.  New Blog Site, Thinkr.com, and is a word press driven place where I can write down my thoughts and let them sit.  Not the higher authority I am seeking, but solves my situation of figuring what I will do, next.  Higher Authority.  Let somebody else take care of me, and perhaps that was the motivation for buying a car and leave it sitting in the driveway.  Just knew somebody would come along and ask, “ How come you bought a car?  You live in a nursing home?”  Of course this is yet a variation on a theme, which I wrote about last week.  “What have you done for me lately?  How will reading this benefit me?”   And he smiles.  Continue.

 

Word Gathering.  Oracle Comments.  Wisest man on earth.  Looking for somebody to tell me what happens next.   Words and music, and have time on my side.  For now.  Weekend Lite.  Somebody showed up and took the car.  “Where you going?”  “Shopping.”  “Don’t forget the peanut butter.”   I said.

 

Higher Authority and is my weekend word.  Not sure that I will find one, or if I am taking the task seriously.  Aspire to a Higher Authority.  Catchy phrase and now I have made it a blog title.  So now I just sit and write.  Gives me something to do.  Feel comfortable in my own space, and have a comfort zone in the peace and quiet that surrounds me.  No need to turn on a football game.  Just enjoy the moment and see what happens.   Alone with me.

 

Higher Authority and it isn’t really my answer.  But others remind me of their problems,  like fixing Health Care in the United States, or keeping the guy in North Korea from blowing us all up.  Current Media Stir and like I said.  “Turned it off.  Not listening.  Weekend Lite and it is nice and quiet now.  Plan to keep it that way.  Wisest man on earth if I can accomplish that, and if I can’t, will aspire to a Higher Authority to fix the things I cannot.   Not sure, if I really believe in what I am saying.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Was willing to go along with the majority of those around me.  

Then they elected Donald, and I am left with a few questions for which I have no answer.  Donald Duck.  Quack.  Quack.  Back where I was when young and innocent.  Talking to myself.  Had a lot of imagination then.  Didn’t matter what was real.  I was busy in a world-of-my-own-making.   Kind of like it is now,  Weekend Lite and everybody is gone.  Left to my own means.  And I am writing next week’s picture-blog. Simple like that.

 

He writes.  “….. over the years, I have been blessed to have great mentors, teachers, family, friends, that taught me about life.”  When that didn’t work, I learned to read.  Learned a lot from books.  Did my lessons.  Wandered  off when people said,  “He is smart.”   Wasn’t interested.  Had other things to do.  Now I write blogs.  Took me a long time to realize, it is okay to aspire to a higher authority, but in the long run, you might not find one, nor what you are looking for.  Had a talking horse for a friend once.  Mr. Ed.  He was taller and bigger and higher up than I was.  Looked up to Mr. Ed.  He was my friend.     Was my higher authority.  One of many.

Am an adult now.  Look down on things, and turn my nose up into the air, as if this will guide me to where I am going next.  Pretend.  Don’t complain.  Learned a long time ago,  if you don’t have a family, create one.  Re-invent and Displace the things that aren’t working for you.  Say it once and mean it.  “Not a good idea.  Now go away.”   Is how I do it.  Have done this more than once.  Replace doubt with utterance.  Say it like you mean it.  Higher Authority Tone.  Then hang up.  Walk away.  Distance yourself from those things that aren’t working for you.  

 

Present Moment Existence.  Example is Weekend Lite.  Give somebody the keys and suggest they go shopping.  Works most of the time.  Is America and weekend and most people don’t work on weekends.  So that’s the answer.  “Drive away.  Will be happy to see you when you come back.”   But of course, when that happens, he is on Sunday.   Another day and another situation in present moment movement.  “ Watching football.  Talk soon.  Just not now.”      “Text-me if you need something.  Now go away.”

Higher Authority 101.  What to do if you are not happy and in a relationship you are not in love with?  Reinvent yourself.  Change.  Seek a higher authority if you need to.  Like I said before, “It is not me.  But you can give it a shot.  I’m smart but not that smart.  Trust me.  This is true.”

Amuses me.  All those things we do in life.  Exercise daily, body and mind.  Keep a journal, perhaps a blog.  Do things and hope that in the long run this satisfies.  If not, try something else.  Never perfect, but is the way it is for me.  Perhaps, it is different for you.  Would be nice.  Would please me if you have found the perfect world or situation for yourself.  Hasn’t been that way for me.  I am blue collar.  Trial and Error kind of guy.  Like buying a car I don’t need.  Parked it in the nursing home parking lot.  Give the keys to whoever requests them.  Reassure myself.  “I am insured. Even so, drive carefully.  Pick where you are going and arrive there safe and unharmed.”  Over the years this has worked for me.  Seeking a Higher Authority amuses me.  But mostly,  I have taken care of me.  One way or another.  Later I will aspire to a higher authority, but for now.  “I am good. “  Space is empty.  Everybody is out shopping.  Weekend Lite.  Am writing a blog.  Peace and Quiet.  Love this state and state of mind.  In the present moment.  “Don’t bother to TWEET.”