THE WALL BETWEEN US

THE WALL BETWEEN US

 

I am really thinking about a wall of silence that occurs when you are separated.  Exile or just in another world or place and I just can’t be there.  Quick conversation, when it is said:,  “you just had to be there to get the full significance of what just happened.”   Time specific and being face to face does not spell things out clearly.  Somethings are lost in translation, and so much of this requires us to read into the situation and come up with an understanding that is acceptable.

 

 Lump in my throat and what comes out is an unspoken gesture of being that wants to be shared, but just isn’t going that way.  Today or yesterday, and how much has been stored behind that wall of silence that has been standing there, a monument in time to the power of symbols to bridge the gap between you and I.  Recently I have taken to my own ways in days separated by months, and have used cell phone camera to prove I exist.  Leaving out the possibility of being photo-shopped into reality that seems suitable for all occasions, I seek unique expression and experience. 

 

And that has been missing lately.  The well of words has gone dry.  Followed the advice that came to me as this, “Give it a rest.  Take some time off.  Separate and find yourself.”   And so it is, that the wall of silence has gone up.

 

So this is a blog about unspoken and it is true,  the unspoken truth about babies is that socks and shoes are not required.  Asian influence and doesn’t like to clean mud off the carpet.  So no shoes in the house, and soxs are optional.  Of course, its cold sometimes so we wear slippers or sandals or thongs.  But wearing thongs changes the subject some, and that’s when we he feels uneasy and thinks, “What’s really going on here?” 

 

Silence does that over time.  Just know:  It is not a great relationship when you never talk or share the moments of your day, week, month or year.   And without you, the children grow tall, take on breasts and beards and go off to marriage and war, and things like that.   So it has me thinking:,  Is there a greater truth that is concealed by the wall of silence that is between you and I?  Something I am not seeing or feeling or know about, hence oblivious to?

 

It is hard to measure the silence and all those things I will never tell you.  Mostly you ask, “Where is he going with all of this?”, and then realize perhaps you just won’t know.  Time passes.  You want to talk and clarify things.  But time passes, and anything you don’t already know, magnifies and solidifies  and is why he talks about a Wall of Silence.  As if its solid interference between the person we are, and the person you want me to be grows.  

 

And so, what choice do we have, when we are separated by greater truths, and a job that requires a lot of travel and commitment to other things.  Good place to remind myself to not be so hard on myself, nor you.  Unfulfilled this and that, becomes material for the Great Novel.   Original and contained within, when he blogs the silence becomes a combination of words that most likely have nothing to do with us, and is not personal enough to relate to;  being devoid of love and feelings and detail.  Is meant as a signal and we should move on.   Avoid an accident or a traffic ticket or the complications that obviously are not necessary to complete this day.  Unspoken Rules of the Road:  keep moving.

 

Wall of Silence and am thinking a kiss might help.  Kiss the Blarney Stone.  Kiss a stranger’s baby and then ask for their vote.  Election year nears.  A lot of nonsense spoken.  And it seems likely the farther out to sea we go, the less any of this seems all that important.  So it reinforces the idea to ignore it all.  Take a day off.  Do the weekend and go for a hike in some remote forest or wait, go to the lake and go out alone on quiet waters,  meditate or fish.  

Not much more to say here. 

 

Wall of Silence and we know that each of us contributes to the rising structure that mutes conversation.   One way traffic and a few cell phone pictures.  One picture is worth a thousand words, but even so.  Leaves me feeling empty.  Here alone and internalized.  Unspoken truths about you and I, and of course there is that Great Novel and Great Blog.  Just appears out of nowhere.  Great read.  Ask for more detail and we receive.

 “Am with my kids, wife or family.” 

“ Going to the cemetery to visit the dead. “

 

Of course we know, there is so much that isn’t being revealed.  Election Year.  People pointing fingers and struggling to be heard.  Aggressor-Person hoping to be elected, and of course that won’t really happen until 2016.   So here we are, guessing at what comes next.  This is where you are left with a lot of uncertainty.  Behind a Wall of Silence  or too much media coverage. The results are blatant. 

White Noise.   

 

You have to believe things are going as planned, even as you realize, only in hindsight will you catch a glimpse of anything close enough to involve you and even then, we don’t talk about it much.  We just don’t.