120 KLICKS

120 KLICKS

 

Getting it all started by saying, “Klick is a common military term.  Means kilometer and refers to distance.  And in Canada is slang for kilometer, either speed or distance.  For those of us on speed, you would hear us say, “I am doing about a 120 klicks.”  Speed Kills.  And so if you are going long distances in the car this holiday season.  Caution is Advised.  But not by me.  I go at full speed and a little more.  Have I ever been arrested?   Not for being under the influence. 

So its just a matter of knowing, icy roads and long distances and blurred vision and lack of sleep all combine to make the process of going to Grandmother’s house more difficult.  120 Klicks and reminds me of so many things, on this fine winter’s day.  Be Prepared.

Running around the surface, looking for you.  In my youth I would always go too far, and just before the New Years, would repent for all the times I missed you.  Twas difficult for me.  Being young.  Being on a different system.  She would say, “Right.  Metrics and you can’t add and keep up with me.  Oh well.  Your loss.”  And it was.  120 Klicks and it was a kiilometre thing.  Miles and Dollars and Common Sense.  Missing.  Incorrect calculations at best.  And she was 120 Klicks away, but I could never find her.  So tis the time of year, when memories flood in, when morning shades open, and the light reaches me.  Never would I change a thing.  Stubborn Man.  I am.

 

In my heart, I know where I stand.  And where I stand with you.  What love means, when it is 120 Klicks away, I will leave it to your imagination.  But I know.  Long ago, figured out what was important this time of year.  Holiday Lights and some travel.  General conditions prevail.  I miss you.  Past Behavior speaks for itself.  Great Loss is Legend.  Oh the stories I could tell.  Heartbreak and Mutual Disturbance.  The Beatles.  Let It Be. 

“…. When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me.  Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

It all happens in 120 Klicks.  A really difficult time.  Had problems.  There was a breakup.  In the back of my mind, I wanted it to be you.  Only you.  But often, that is not how things work.  Never mind the flirtations and affairs on a mental level.  Was too busy to attend, and figure out the gap in the system being used.  Cultural Imperatives, and I was clueless.  Knew only one way, and in the maze leading to my heart, it locked you out. 

And yes, at the time, was really living and playing hard.  That was the truth behind everything.  And before I know it 5 years came and went, and love became dream-like.  I made it up.  Took safe passage.  Went where the wind would blow.  Lasted longer than I expected.  Blown off course.

 Without you.

And there it is.  120 Klicks away.  Staring at me through shinning eyes.  Reflections and Light and Christmas at the mall.  All so pretty.  Easy to get lost in the moment.  Spend more on material pursuit than you intended.  In the flow.  Don’t fight it.  Let it work out.  Tis the season.  120 Klicks Away.  Reality and Fantasy:  side by side.  I miss you.  A little more each year.  The Memorial Service:  For Things Never Had, or Suddenly Gone Missing.  Time speeds by, like a fast rabbit and a Mercedes in high gear.  And is the statement I want to make:  Roads are Dangerous this time year.  Be careful.  One and All.  On your way to love. 

And Family.  120 Klicks.