SIGNIFICANT-OTHER DATA PLAN
I went to the phone store
recently. Niece was buying or shopping
for a new phone. Smart Phone she called
it. Asked me if I wanted one. Like maybe she was offering to give it to me
for Christmas. That didn’t happen. I spoiled her mood and the conversation when
I said, “Can I use it to hookup with my
significant other?” And who would that
be. I never met her, and why did you
bring that up? Totally inappropriate.”
More detail. I have said it several times, but this is a
public blog and well for the sake of clarity I will mention it again. Significant Other Person passed away from
complications of child birth. Since
then, none of us have been talking. Not
that we are fighting, but its well known, that Niece has never seen me with the
children, and that’s a disconnect that keeps trying to insert itself into
everyday reality. And now, here I am
talking about a data plan and smart phone that is advanced enough to bridge the
gaps, and introduce a new reality. “
New reality: Significant Other on the
other line, will you hold please? “
Based on Smart Phone and I
have no clue what they can do. I know
they are expensive. Family Plan and
immediately it brought to mind, significant other. Didn’t add the part:
deceased. Niece cut me off
before I could begin an Alzheimer Story.
“Inappropriate.” She said. Conversation stopped. And that leaves me with blog for today. Significant Other Data Plan.
Shadows and Reflections of
the children’s mother take up a lot of my quiet time. I observe the children in play and talking. For them, mother is there. For me, not really. New Year and at the end of the year, it will
be 5 years of silence. But not
hostility or denial. Still looking for
a significant other data plan that will hook us up and for that I would surely
pay the outrageous price the phone company charges. For now, I am not convinced.
How smart can a Smart Phone
be? And of course I like the idea that
you can’t ring me while I am out of the house and on my morning walk. Best to just leave it to nature. I feel her everywhere. And that’s the point.
In the image of the children
and the dynamic people they are becoming, I see reflections of mother. And will leave it at that. New Year and there is no doubt I would like
to be with her. But mostly when the
subject comes up, “Do you miss her?”, I look down and avert eye contact. “Inappropriate.” I want to say. But the
truth is I am getting older as each day passes. And the young ones and their smart phones never ask. Mostly, it is me. Talking to myself.
Ask. “Do I miss you.” And the answer is: I am in love. Comes with
the first page of the wordless picture book, where shadows and reflections
reach out to me, take me in their frozen grasp, and the past comes alive.
But this is a new year. Niece hopes that I will only deal with the
here and now. Only talk to her. Attend.
And that is the plan. Holiday
and Slot Machines. Iconic
Tradition. A Return To Love. And maybe a course in miracles, when and
where purchasing a new Smart Phone can
connect you with the people you think about, living or dead. And just when I am about to say something
that might sound like a rebuttal and a conversation we just aren’t having
now. Niece says,
“And don’t forget the adzuki
beans.” We need them for our holiday
dinner. Did you forget?” And this is her way of reminding me. Alzheimer’s Stories should not come with us
into the new year. And yes, she gets
the message. Another year, and he is in
love with her. And with the children’s
mother. Shadows and Reflections and
Happy New Year. 2013. Their Love is Endless. Can be seen, like reflections in ice. And in his eyes.
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