Wednesday, January 2, 2013

SIGNIFICANT-OTHER DATA PLAN





SIGNIFICANT-OTHER DATA PLAN




I went to the phone store recently.  Niece was buying or shopping for a new phone.  Smart Phone she called it.  Asked me if I wanted one.  Like maybe she was offering to give it to me for Christmas.  That didn’t happen.  I spoiled her mood and the conversation when I said, “Can  I use it to hookup with my significant other?”  And who would that be.  I never met her, and why did you bring that up?  Totally inappropriate.”

 

More detail.  I have said it several times, but this is a public blog and well for the sake of clarity I will mention it again.  Significant Other Person passed away from complications of child birth.  Since then, none of us have been talking.  Not that we are fighting, but its well known, that Niece has never seen me with the children, and that’s a disconnect that keeps trying to insert itself into everyday reality.  And now, here I am talking about a data plan and smart phone that is advanced enough to bridge the gaps, and introduce a new reality.  “ New reality:  Significant Other on the other line, will you hold please? “

 

Based on Smart Phone and I have no clue what they can do.  I know they are expensive.  Family Plan and immediately it brought to mind, significant other.  Didn’t add the part:  deceased.  Niece cut me off before I could begin an Alzheimer Story.  “Inappropriate.”  She said.  Conversation stopped.  And that leaves me with blog for today.  Significant Other Data Plan.

 


Shadows and Reflections of the children’s mother take up a lot of my quiet time.  I observe the children in play and talking.  For them, mother is there.  For me, not really.  New Year and at the end of the year, it will be 5 years of silence.  But not hostility or denial.  Still looking for a significant other data plan that will hook us up and for that I would surely pay the outrageous price the phone company charges.   For now, I am not convinced.  How smart can a  Smart Phone be?  And of course I like the idea that you can’t ring me while I am out of the house and on my morning walk.  Best to just leave it to nature.  I feel her everywhere.  And that’s the point.

 

In the image of the children and the dynamic people they are becoming, I see reflections of mother.  And will leave it at that.  New Year and there is no doubt I would like to be with her.  But mostly when the subject comes up, “Do you miss her?”, I look down and avert eye contact.  “Inappropriate.”  I want to say.  But the truth is I am getting older as each day passes.  And the young ones and their smart phones never ask.  Mostly, it is me.   Talking to myself.  Ask.  “Do I miss you.”  And the answer is:  I am in love.   Comes with the first page of the wordless picture book, where shadows and reflections reach out to me, take me in their frozen grasp, and the past comes alive.

 

But this is a new year.  Niece hopes that I will only deal with the here and now.  Only talk to her.  Attend.  And that is the plan.  Holiday and Slot Machines.  Iconic Tradition.  A Return To Love.  And maybe a course in miracles, when and where purchasing a new  Smart Phone can connect you with the people you think about, living or dead.  And just when I am about to say something that might sound like a rebuttal and a conversation we just aren’t having now.  Niece says,


“And don’t forget the adzuki beans.”  We need them for our holiday dinner.  Did you forget?”  And this is her way of reminding me.  Alzheimer’s Stories should not come with us into the new year.  And yes, she gets the message.  Another year, and he is in love with her.  And with the children’s mother.  Shadows and Reflections and Happy New Year.  2013.  Their Love is Endless.  Can be seen, like reflections in ice.  And in his eyes.

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