Accept And Remember

Accept And Remember

 

I see myself in the reflection of others, as we hop on the train, as if we all know where this will be taking us.  Have gotten to the place where I am not working, as it is Saturday and is where I have drawn the line, and made an open statement. 

“I will not work. Today is a day of rest.”

Not sure I need to elaborate.  Saturday or Sunday and people go shopping as well as going to church.  Church is something that is drawn from the well of past occurrences.  I have no clue what people do today.  Seems it wasn’t long ago I was dropped on my head.  Not important what the doctors said at the time.  Things have a way of developing a course and then following the plan and happening.  Happened to me.  Sudden stoppage.  Never to return exactly to the conditions or the spot.  

As if we were all starting over, or was it just me.  Have lots of examples of what I am talking about, but the truth is, until it happen for you or to you, can one relate?  Not talking about the tradition of shutting down the store on Saturday so we can go somewhere and praise G-d, or count our blessing and do it in a shared collective.  Not talking at all really, as I have forgotten what I was going to say.  Senior moment or dropped on my head, and brain trauma and memory loss takes over.  

 

Saturday and it will suffice to say, “ I don’t know who you are.  But tis a blog of public dimension.  Know you are out there somewhere. Not sure I can address you or find you.  But this is set up so you can find me, leave a comment and life goes on.”

 

That is what I will concentrate on.  You can find me.  You can leave a comment.  You can do this and so much more, because times have changed and we have more capability.  Technology enables you and I.  Truth is I am legging behind some on this front.  Do not have a sell/cell phone and instant gratification is not my lot.  But do have wifi at home, and when I find my way home, I will have some of the benefit you have.  

 

The key to it all is not getting lost.  Finding my way home, and figuring out how to plug myself in.  Seems every day is different.  Head injury perhaps.  Constant struggle to just be in the fast lane with others.  So rearrange my expectation.  Forget what day it is.  Go with the assurance that I will be found, and that I can’t be lost forever. 

Trust that technology will do that for me, when I have forgotten some of the essential things.  Trust the system.  Make a few adjustments and that will get me to Sunday or Saturday, depending on how you are made and what is most important to you.   Sunday and church and the great sermon that will give me peace of mind.

 

Is it possible that when they drop you on your head, or you have a concussion or PSTD, that things will go back to the way they use to be?  Have that written down to give some attention to.  But as it turns out, I am lost.  Can’t find my way home. 

 

Have everything written on an electronic screen.  No longer relying on pencil and paper and the hand of G-D to spell all these things out for me.  Relying on what seems to be the ways of the present moment.  Standing on the platform, waiting for the people to move, when the doors open and the rush of air reminds me,  there is something going on.  Please join in. 

 

Or just pay attention and avoid the crush of people around you.  The situation demands one’s full attention, and in some way I just know.  Not up to the task and might not survive.  But then again, it occurs to me that the person standing next to me, before the rush hour or moment begins, has a cell phone.  I can bravely ask, ‘Do you have a cell phone and could you check the GPS and the time.”  And if the answer is yes,  I can go forward with the rest of the people.  No resistance.  I don’t need a full functioning mind.  I just need the help of others at times like this.

 

So in front of a computer screen.  Suddenly the prompt pops up.  Is asking me something about saving my password.  Then another screen.  Asking me.  Accept and Remember.  And all I have to do is click on the yes part.  I don’t really need to know why this is happening.   Click and repeat if it happens again.  Accept and Remember and get on with it. 

 

Is a lesson from life as I currently know it, that I just wanted to share with you.  No reason to go into the trauma and indecision that occurs and leaves me feeling a little lost, when somebody retaliates and does bad things.  Want to erase those things from mind.  Want to forget that there are bad people in the world and they do bad things.  Paris and who knows where the next impact place will be.  All I need to know is I have been injured.  Brain trauma or broken heart.

 

Accept and Remember, and then move on.  Doesn’t matter if it is on the train platform hoping for transport to the next best place, or finding my way home, where I can operate with a sense of that perhaps, I am safe.  That is my blog for today.  Accept and Remember. 

 

 And I wonder.  Am I able to do this?,   Without going into the details of what just happened and why all of this is hurting me?  I wonder.  Paris is burning and I am not sure why.  Which of course, is part of my sickness.  Indeed.    Accept and Remember What?