crack of the whip

CRACK OF THE WHIP

 

Inspired to fit in and go along with the crowd or herd, I need to belong and join the wave of motion that comes with an abrupt sound that comes out of nowhere, be quick on my feet and survive the first round of consequences that come when the early warning system works perfectly well, and there is this suspicion that what comes next is quick and startling.  And so I find it easy to extract from yesterday’s news and happenings.




 A gun shot.  Crack of the Whip and a blood curdling sound that stands hair on end, and before you know it, there is a lock-down, or a gathering of livestock, or if caught on camera, was verified as people running.  " Run for it."  But not before you know where you are going with this blog, or with your handling of thunder and steel nerves that follow the line of the barrel, with force and outcome that leaves you out of breath and somewhat exhausted.  And so it is, I watch the replay of video taken.  Gun shots or Crack of the Whip I can not distinguish, but with further review and knowing that I was standing in front of a frontier museum, gathering dust and waiting for the show to begin, harmless as sunlight absorbed in a bundle of hay, the idea of this being more than an ordinary occurrence, did not occur to me.    And when I saw the crowd moving, I followed.

Each day the wheels turn and I find myself farther and farther from the city of origination, where I have belonged in blue surge suits of the expensive caliber.  Those days are over.  But to say I have exchanged the Robe of City Conference for blue jeans and all-weather-hat and a bull whip or sword of slaughter, would be wrong.  Yes, its true.  I have moved on.  Yesterday’s war is today’s peace of mind.  I have left the business wars and cultural strife of wards and alleys, bustling with people and taxis and garbage trucks, behind.  Moving into the rural hemisphere of cart and horse and the crack of the whip, am ready for a new understanding, without the wound or scarred flesh that comes with the sound of thunder or flash of light.  Looking around and seeing limited movement and a handful of   people, changes my expectation. 



Tourist in the sense that I need to pay somebody to guide me into this experience.  Outsider in the sense that tomorrow I will be somewhere else, seeking service and pleasure of another brand and sort.  Spectator in the sense I have gas and wheels and it is obvious I am not here to work, but rather to consume and take what might be offered or in reach.  And it all comes to that one moment when I hear the crack of a whip or the sound of gun shot, and I asked myself.   "Am I safe."

I look around and it seems to be over before we know it.  Civil obedience and we begin to go our own way.  Haven’t registered the facts that come with the late night news.  Likely to be somewhere by night fall, it is told that only one body was found at the scene and around the block, somewhere inside another.  So not sure what happened.  Limit body count.  Crack of the Whip or Gun Shot.  Wild West or way too far north for me, I seem limited as to what can be said next.  So we move along.  Don’t really talk about it.  War and Peace.  Am I safe. 



 

And for the moment I just want to find some water, quench my thirst, find something or somebody to entertain me.  Fill the hours of my day.  Make me happy in that special way that comes with knowing, we were spectators.  Not really part of the show.  Bought a ticket.  Paid a fee.  Assembled and Attended to.  Parliamentary Procedure.  An ordered response done in an ordinary way.  Crack of the Whip.  Ringing of the Bell.  And we move along together.   One step at a time.  Expecting peace and a good time, we never really see the body or the outcome of something totally wrong.  Instead, we are here to see the show.  And when its over, most of us go home or somewhere else.  Over before we know it,  and I am less anxious and curious now.  Crack of the Whip or Gun Shot.   I don’t want to know.

THE STANDARD WITHDRAWAL

THE STANDARD WITHDRAWAL




I have 10 days to do something.  The children are in school and will be for the next 18 years.  That means I have some free time.  All the children’s needs have been met.  Has something to do with the basic contract made in bonding with parents and child.  Precious Gift of Life, and we must do all we can to make sure the promise and the dream have a chance along the pathway of life.  Home Schooling.  Foster Parents.  Institutions of Higher Learning.  Over the last hundred years or so, the options have doubled and tripled. 
We can now start an account before the children are born to pay their college costs.  In fact, this is the modern world and all the arrangements that are available for a prosperous life can probably be found online.  The Internet.  World Wide Web. 



And so much more.  Changes come daily and I am reminded that by making the Standard Withdrawal from my bank account, a hands-free method of automatic payment can and will get things done, leaving me to go back to all the things I like to do, back in my younger days.  Add the title of Single Parent and  It-Takes-A-Village-People, and our job is almost complete.  18 years is a long time, but not really.  And so I am back to my first line of this blog.  I have 10 days to do something.




Received a notice in the mail, and because I am on the road these days, it took a while for it to catch up to me.  And when it did, I shrugged it off.  Was not too concerned, until I learned that one of the many payments in life had not arrived, and this was to be my second notice.  "You have 10 days."  All this had me scratching my head.  Wasn’t sure who to call, or what to do.  So I called the number I always do, sent a copy to the person on the other end, and was reassured.  "Sir, I will take care of this for the standard fee."  And so 10 days became a month and then a year.  I made the standard withdrawal from my bank account, bought a money order, paid the voice on the other end of the conversation, via the basic convention of saying, "The Checks in the Mail."    And over the years I think about all this, from time to time.  What does it really mean when you receive a notice saying, " You have 10 days."



So now I am thinking that over a lifetime, 10 days is nothing.  Over 12 years or even longer in this modern civilization, losing track of things can happen over night, or in an instant.  Sometimes, 10 days is not enough, nor is a lifetime, to determine what really happened, and what one should do.  Then times change.  Computers and instant address with automatic spell check and auto-fill and overnight delivery.  Then comes Identity Theft and for an instance you have no idea if this communication was meant for you.  Takes a few phone calls to get the process of Learning-By-Doing started. 
Takes a little longer to realize that the Standard Withdrawal will not cover expenses.   And the cost of having children doesn’t end when you pay your first set of doctor bills at the time of their birth.  These things go on and on.   Seeing the bigger picture, I am now aware.  10 days is nothing.  I need more time.

 

As a reminder I would like to say, this is not a blog about daycare or even Home Schooling in Tennessee.  Its not even about the children.  It might be about what happens when people take the standard withdrawal and just vanish into the night.  Take the money and run.   Now this sounds like the raw ingredients for a 40 minute television show.  Pure entertainment and has nothing to do with you and I.  But over the course of my investigation, I have learned.  This could happen to you.  The standard deviation from a regular day, and things malfunction.  And you don’t even know it, and then time passes, and you do.  And this leaves you scratching your head and asking. 

"What next?"


" What next?"    You receive your second correspondence.  It says you have 10 days.  And of course, if you have money, you can hire somebody to make your problem go away.  If you don’t have money, or for the moment can’t access the money you think you have, then things become more complicated.  That indeed is what this blog is about.  Living in the modern world, while being frozen in the past.  As if time has made it possible, to pass you by and operate automatically without you.  Retirement.  Old Age.  On the road and generally having a good time.  Replace and Rediscover The Person you happen to be today, is not as easy as it sounds.  "You have 10 days."  



 

But of course as I have learned over the years, things come to a halt when you have a flat tire, or go to the ATM Machine and your account is on empty as is the  gas tank.  So there you are.  The Standard Withdrawal, and now you know.  Things have changed.  You are older now.  Memory isn’t what it use to be.  The Children are all grown up now.  No longer in school, and truth is, you have no idea where they are.  All this leaves you scratching your head and wondering.  On This Road Taken, Have We Gone Too Far?

LASSITUDE of the AGES

Lassitude of the Ages 


 

I have to begin with the idea that we know what we are doing.  Like the choice of words to express our current state of mind.  Mind your manner, and have respect for the thing that have made you who you are today, and the things that have lead to longer life and the safety of your loved ones.  And so it is, I have to check what the true meaning of the word is that has attached itself to me on this day. 

Lassitude.


 

And have spent a week of solitude and silence, reaching out but only as the plant roots plow the underground, hoping for a stronger base and foundation.  Having said all that, I am writing, and have a strong sense that blogs happen and the world is a better place.  Can’t exactly validate this thinking, except that over time the human mind and spirit has found its place among the creations of betterment, mainly the database of health and safety, defeating the plague of botox and ebola and disease, of the body and of the mind.  Again having said all that, let me continue as if I have something to sketch out here, using words and thoughts that are more than temporary madness in a turned-sideways-world, one of our own making, perhaps. 

 

lassitude

LAS'SITUDE, n. [L. lassitudo, from lassus, and this from laxus, laxo, to relax.]

    1. Weakness; dullness; heaviness; weariness; languor of body or mind, proceeding from exhaustion of strength by excessive labor or action, or other means.

    2. Among physicians, lassitude is a morbid sensation or languor which often precedes disease, in which case it proceeds from an impaired or diseased action of the organs. 

 

Found this explanation on the internet.  Paste and Copy and have not involved myself with giving credit where credit is due.  Am acting this way, because I take it as my inheritance not to get bogged down in scholarly mannerisms that become so clogged with footnotes, that the message becomes the ways of chaos and  confusion in an ordinary mind.  So here we are.  Just last week I wrote a blog titled:  Tired and Weak. 



 

And the blog had noting to do with my daily state of affairs.  Rather, I was knee deep into the idea of making known, a general condition and practice that preys on the mind of the weak and tired. A blog about tired stereotypes and weak generalizations was written.  How successful it was to tap the inner resources of a quiet internment of inherited thoughts, I can only imagine .   Those things, success or failure are in the hands and minds of others.  And so it is, I continue on.  As if I know what I am saying and doing.



 

So I write blogs, but must say:  "The habit of writing cannot conceive the exhaustion, the efforts, and the dejection of mind and body that comes with the continual and ever-present sense of loss, when a loved one dies.  Saying this, because it is a condition that happens over time.  The heaviness of loss, begins to eat on you.  And organs deteriorate as we smoke and drug and dance away the night, in a dim lit room.  But nothing happens overnight.  Happens over a life time of love and loss.  Happens as the moon rises over Manhattan, and the masses occupy the streets on their way to daily commerce.  And here I go again, being obscure and blocked in expression and thinking.  Not sure I can use Shakespeare and the breakdown of human behavior to explain myself.  Mostly I just know, I have a history with all of this.  Not here, as a stand alone figure.  Not able to just blurt out things, and think this must be true.  Am part of the ancient mystery of the white wolf and White Dog, and over time have become an elder.  Tell stories and add to the confusion that breaks down cells and the holding power of muscle and blood in capillary form.   




Am here to suggest, we can fix the problem and do better, only if we take the time to figure out what’s wrong and how this is affecting us.  You and I.  Perhaps society.  Takes a certain amount of concentration to know for sure where this is all leading to. 

Has something to do with the invasion of disease from other places, made possible by airplanes and fast flight.  Now they are screening for Ebola at the airport.  People are dying in Texas and well perhaps all over the place.  For now, we just cause general alarm by saying the word:  Ebola.  But of course, there is more to all of this than meets the eye.  We have been through this before.  Lost a son or daughter to polio or tuberculosis or a new strain of attackers in the blood stream.  Sound the alarm.  Its happening again.  Injustice against humanity.  Losing somebody or thing we dearly loved.  Programmed to care and reach out, using the expression of sadness and sorrow to make certain, you will be missed. 



It is with me.  Conflict.  Ignorance.  Confusion.   And all I can think to do, is move away.  Let my feet say, what my heart has restricted and can just not let out.  A constant pain and it is distressing me.  Not seeking early death, as I am already long into life, and have learned by doing that together we must find a way, to protect each other and to protect the best of our accomplishments, over time. " Do it for the children."   Do it because we can.  Find a way.  Find a remedy for what ails us.  Look closely at the base roots of our current disenchantment. 


 

Sing a song of freedom and release ourselves from the debilitating re-occurrence of actions and activity that make us less than we ever have to be.  Live on.  Live in the moment and find a way, to survive and be strong.  Even when it seems, this is the impossible in you, and can not happen with the help from others.


 

Navigate the hardship and steer clear of the doomsday approach.  It is known and we manage, that we are living under the strain of great expectation.  We have been successful.  We have won, when others have not.  And so there is the weight of the Super Power that compels us to try, harder and harder, until we try no more.  Weak and Tired.  Generalizations and over use of buzz words.  Can’t really put my finger on what is going on today.  Invasion of the bees.  4 people die from a massive attack, and nature’s swarm.  Along side all of this, comes Ebola and I tell myself I suffer from a condition.  Perhaps its just the state of mind I find myself in.  Lost a loved one.  Take to the road.  Try to put distance between yesterday and tomorrow. 



But the truth is, I need to relax.  It will all  work out.  Being tired and/or weary happens.  We can off set it by watching TV, Sports and Weather will remove the cloud from within and overhead.  A Clear Blue Sky.  We can overcome all of this gloom and doom.  Sure we have to let it all play out.  Last of the Baseball and now down to just 4 teams.  The best of the best.  And in the realm of football, if I were in town I would be going to the big game on Sunday next. 

 

But I won’t be there.  Perhaps in spirit and as a couch potato, I will find a place to observe  Seattle and Dallas, playing NFL football.  But he truth is, if I miss it, I will still be okay.  Out and about.  Trying to out run the history of sorrow and loss.  Working my way to freedom, one mile at a time.  Won’t let scandal or murder or the invasion of bees and virus spoil my day.  Ground speaks and I am on my way.  Won’t look back. 



 

At least not today.  Is time to avoid the darkness of self-made-tragedy.  Time to move towards the mountains and take the up-hill climb.   Time to purge and swerve into the proper lane and path that sets me free and capable of self-cleansing and healing.  So if you plan to watch the game on TV and find me in my regular seat.  I won’t be there.  Has nothing to do with the Age of Lassitude.  Comes down to something quite simple really.  Have found myself in a self-constructed Maze, and now it is my mandate to find a way out. 



And I am impressed by the power of the human spirit.  We will find a way.  And celebrate the best of love and life, as it happens.  Nothing complicated, if we set our mind to it.  And that’s my blog for today.  Enjoy.    

TIRED AND WEAK

TIRED AND WEAK



I want to write a blog and since its a do-it for-me event, not sure it is necessary to justify the topic or keep on topic from a previous thread or conversation.  Today, however; I am connected to my own intent and even as the title suggest:  Tired and Weak, what I am really after here is a blog about tired stereotypes and weak generalizations.  Follows on the footsteps of writing a blog comment to something a Fav-5 online/thoughts.com  wrote about recently.  Could give you the link, but will just mention:  Tiggers and a blog:  Thinking with your Dick.  Read that and couldn’t really relate, as I am too old for the bar and dating or intercourse scene, ( social or otherwise ), and come with an old school set of rules about behavior in public, which includes the weekend and bars and sporting events, and well its rules.  It covers everything. 


So this is not actually a reaction to Tigger’s blog, as much as my own thoughts on everything social and men and women.  And as it was said, so many books have been written on the behaviors of men and women.  So obviously there is no need to rehash or regurgitate the subject.  Mostly its like I said at the beginning, about tired stereotypes and weak generalizations, and about  Stoney Blogger’s take of things, even when its obvious.  He does not compute.


So I am thinking its the night, weekend or otherwise,  and people are out.  Some are there for the sexual action, always in the mood for finding someone to hook up with.  Others go to just be.  In the old days, a neighborhood pub or bar, and the people are regulars, and if not they seek out their own.  And so there is a bar ritual and if you don’t want to be bothered, you wear your ring, flash it and say, "Married and Happy.", and usually that’s that.  Sure, there is that moment of weakness thing, and people prey about the weak.  Human nature.  Is up to those around you, to be there for you.  To Protect you from predators, when you can not. 



So that is old school thinking.  Not sure what happens in real life.  I have been two or three times removed from The Pub/bar Scene.    But mostly by the time I get to the bar or to the sports event, and there is drinking going on, I am tired and maybe susceptible to a pretty face or conversation with the young.  Weak and Tired, but not relieved of my senses.  And is my thinking that we know what we are doing, and why.  Having said that, I come from the forever faithful school.  Do you best to remain friendly and be in the moment, and at the same time:  Be clear about what’s going on, and act appropriately.  Ok now I will ramble about anything that comes to mind.

 

The do’s and don’ts of men and women, has evolved.  Society has changed to the point, it is confusing and there is no longer a general rule or standard for what happens when men and women get together.  Having said that, I think about being in The Stage of Individuality, where we meet things head on, deal with, and move on.  Older men hitting on younger women, younger women looking for Seniors with spare change to spread around.


 And we could do the generalizations and stereotypes of our view of what is going on, but in the day of all doing their own thing, unless it happens to you, is best to just ignore it.  That’s my policy.  Otherwise it all becomes a huge misunderstanding about what others are doing and why.  So in my mind, I have banned the subject and I act as if I am oblivious.  Act as if I am stoned, and best left alone.  But of course, that is just one view of who I am and what I am doing and think:  its all intentional. 



What I do and what I am doing, mostly is well thought out.  What works in today’s world.   Not sure that I have a point to make here, just going on about what happens out there in the world, because individuality must be respected, and I must step back and be responsible for myself, and no other.  I don’t care what others do, as long as they leave me out of it.



So its Saturday morning and is tea time for me.  Doing my Meals-On-Wheels routine.  Looking out the window and taking in the world that is moving by, at 60 miles an hour or more.  Fast and Furious.  Or fast enough to trigger momentary impressions about everything, outside.  And then I have my creature comforts.  And am busy eating, drinking and writing a blog.  When I get tired I stop.  And that is subject for another blog, about The Tired and The Weak.  If its not working for you, stop and turn away, remove yourself from the conversation or situation.  And remember, its not what others do, but what you do, that is important.  Okay.  Done. 


Have a good weekend.  Fall and the colors of Autumn are all around me.  Makes me feel thankful for the opportunity to be out and about and in the middle of it all.   Have a good day.   Baseball and Football galore.  And if that is not your cup of tea, drink some coffee or have a beer.  Weekend.  Enjoy.

WHEN BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL CONVERGE

WHEN BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL CONVERGE

 

I find myself in a place that I have not found myself before.  Am trying on wheels for legs, and it seems to be working.  Am a late bloomer in many ways.  Have been saying I have been retired for a while now, but what I meant to say was that at my age, nobody will hire me.  For Hire.  Had that sign out, but decided it was similar to when I was  11 years old.  The Lemonade Stand.  Sign read.  5 cents a cup.  All you can drink in one gulp.  Did my homework.  One cup.  One gulp.  Filling up your cup for a second serving for free, not happening.  Turns out it saved me from the hassle of telling the customer:  No Refills.  

 

So retired, and finally have found a way to uncouple myself from the routine of the work life of many years, I had so carefully cultivated.  So now am preparing myself for a Strange Life.  Perhaps early training for my trip to Eternity.  Uncoupling the city routine, and making tracks on asphalt and highway shoulders.  Reminding myself to live free, while I can.  Have been landlocked in my usual habitat for many years now.  The myth was to retire at age 65.  Get  your social security and just play the Senior Years.  I said.  "Myth."  Didn’t exactly happen that way for me, but now.  Now I am making my getaway.  And the good part.  Have found a traveling companion, who thinks:  " Better Late Than Never."



 

So am asking myself, is it okay to just do this; when I have season tickets to a sports game.  What about those Seattle Mariners of 2014.  A few days ago as I was pulling out of town, others were overloading the transportation system to get to the game that would determine if this team would be in the Post Season.  Of course it is a copycat world.  Last year Seattle’s Football Team won the Super Bowl, and yes it is still a "What-Have-You-Done-For-Me-Lately?"-WORLD.  But there is an after glow to winning big, and maybe because it happened so close to home,  Seattle Seahawks win, and the Seattle Mariners ask, "Why not Us."  And US is a word that means many things in this  context.  And I won’t get into all that.  But what I will talk about is the convergence of sports in my time.  Baseball in October. 



 

For Seattle this year, it almost happened.  Myth, like the Retirement theory, but had me swallowing bait, until I decided to leave town before the games happened.  Just a good idea, if you are doing the 24/7 thing.  Do things when its less crowded.  And yes is a good time to mention that the planet has billions of people like me on it now.  So not really thinking that I am driving into the sunset and when I get there, I will be by myself.  So taking a companion, and a dog.  The rest will follow when they find out there is money to be made for THE-BABY-BOOMER-CROWD.  Now retiring.  Now spending that hard earned money that took a lifetime to make, and become expendable income or resources.  So Baseball and Football in October. 

And when asked, "Where to?"  I responded, "Any small town that has a football or basketball or hockey game going on."  And I was prepared for it.  Wait For It.  Companion said, "So its going to be like that is it?"  And I could tell, Sports would be had on the Web Device with headsets on, while Travel Partner was driving or doing something other than sports spectator routine.    And this is when I realized:  I am now living in a Convergent Zone.  And anything can happen.  And will.


 

Wheels are turning.  Feet propped up, and not in the drivers seat.  It doesn’t matter that they are playing baseball in October.  Doesn’t matter that there will be a game on Oct. 12th in Seattle and I have a ticket.  Nope, that is history.  Made arrangements to get away from it all.  But since I see myself in a convergent zone, that dictates that no matter where you go, You Will Be Found.  So now I am making it easy.  Sat down with people wiser than I.  Talked about the things I would need to give it all up, and have it all.  First thing that was ordered:  A Library.  You see I am an avid reader.  Write blogs because I am not working and have time on my hand.  So arrived in the mail.  Library On Wheels.  You have to see it to believe it. Modern gadgets and technology. 



 

And yes, The Mail always comes to the next place you make reservations for.  Not sure how it all works.  Is why I am not going alone.  Can’t drive like you have to, to do this style.  Anyway,  ordered and received a Amazon KINDLE.  Instant library.  Instant other things too.  Told that all we have to do is have a signal and its like being at the game.  So that convinced me to give it a try. 

So that’s where I give up my attitude.  Doesn’t matter that I can’t buy into baseball in October.  But now, I have better things to do.  Will pull into a small town.  Ask. "What’s going on?"   And hope they point me in the direction of a High School or College game.  What game.  Does it matter.  I am downsizing.  And besides, we just pulled in.  So is okay to catch the last quarter of what ever is going on.  Older and Mellow now.  I can do it.