JUST ONE MORE DAY

JUST ONE MORE DAY

You can’t write a blog and play a video game golf tournament at the same time.  Limits and obstacles and we must make choices.  If you want to, choose to be cynical and say, “Just One More Day.”   So now I look at it more closely.  I was predisposed to this being Sunday, and potentially a day of hope and promise.  Sanctuary time, and a place for the mind to go, to rest and be positive and be outside the scope of ordinary and daily practice.  Once a week, put things in G-D’s hands, and go on auto-pilot.  Is how it should be,  and for me to impress this on my mind, must stay away from google and headline banners and targeted ads. 

Oh, yes.  On Sunday, and there is still those out there, who want to get me. “ Get me.”   “Do you get me?”   “Just one more day.”  Does this mean it all has to get done today, Sunday, as this is my last day.  “Just one more.”  When this was typed, I wasn’t aware of the full meaning and scope of this phrase or title.  Even now, is a sense of faith.  It is still Sunday.  And the video game continues.  Where are my priorities?  G-D or Tiger Woods.   ?

 

I have a lead.  It is the final round.  Unless I have a panic attack, nobody will catch me.  Of course, its just one more day, and anything can happen.  But that is true, regardless.  So why paint the scene with streaks of dread, or read,  or red.  Word jargon and we will be judged on the final word.  “…repent.  Repent.  I didn’t know what that meant.”  Leonard Cohen lyrics.  Song sung in another time. 

 

Not today.  Not by me.   But it sticks in my mind, and trivial things often do.  And what are we going to do about it.  We have a lead.  Lead guitar.   Lead in the drinking water or solder.   Good voice.  Strong pipes.  And we could go on like this all day.  Then I realize.  “ Stick to the task.  Focus.  Finish one thing, and then go on to another.”  Seems like something a wise person would say.  Need my strength and need to have breakfast.  Refresh and Nourishment.  Words or Food.  Just One More Day.  What’s on the menu?

 

I need to finish this before the phone rings.  Word jargon and using your words, and saying it right.  Not sure there is certainty that there is one way to do this.  “Just One More Day.”  Should perhaps be, “Just another day.”  Hinting on the condition that this is all routine and ordinary.  Stop thinking in terms of finality and drama in the moment.  Take the day as it comes.  If it is, the last one you will experience, of course that will be noted. 

 

But instead,  all I want to do is finish this before the phone rings.  Want to enjoy Sunday and everything that is implied by that.  Day off.  Weekend.  In the company of loved ones and friends, or with the house dog, which could truly be a loved one and a friend.  Word specific and finding myself not wanting to go into details.  Take back what I said, if I could.  Just One More Day, and did I mention I missed congratulating you on your birthday, or special occasion.

And now I am done.  Need to venture out.  Dressed for the weather and for the event.  Nothing more that needs to be done.  Love what I am doing.  And that’s it.  Have a good day.   May peace be with you.   If indeed there was just one more day,  this is what I would say.  ´Peace be with you, one and all.”

 

if there is a reason

IF THERE IS A REASON

 

If there is a reason for the things we do, or what happens just down the street, I’d like to know.  Lately I have had my doubts, that chaos actually follows a script.  Want to be generous with my praise for the good things that happen, want to give credit where credit is due, but then I read between the lines, and see other things.  Can’t give a blind eye to the way things are, or if I do, some will score a win, figuring they got over on him.  Seems the administrator for government records, she had a name, but now she is gone, so why bother figuring the details out, including her name.  Records that were supposed to be private, have exposed over 21 million people or more, and who is the boss and who is responsible.  U.S. government.  It was their employees.

 

And its people.  So Now I look further.  Hacker World, and there is more loss and damage of priority records.  Has me thinking, the system is not safe.  And if I really knew the details, I suspect I would be clamoring for the resignation of the guy at the top.  Now, am afraid to name names.  But maybe somebody knows.  Who is responsible for U.S. government failed systems?  The top guy, and that is.  Ok its all speculation because we don’t have the facts.  Am I getting this right?

If there is a reason we don’t have all the facts, is it in my best interest to know.  Know how the system is failing us.  We the People.  Okay so occasionally life throws us a clunker.  We take a swing at defending life and limb and principal, but miss.  Miss the mark and left in the dark, and does it pay to seek the light of truth, when we are dealing with this new world of modern ways and technology.  Who is responsible when something breaks?  Or when chaos is just around the corner.  Not about somebody else, the focus is on me and you.  Its our records.  Now what?  Can we take a write-off and start over.  Makes me wonder, if there is a reason I don’t know what to do, in this situation.  Makes me wonder.

Weekend is here.  Time to put the work week aside.  Be generous with the things you hope to be and do.  Weekend.  Need time off for good behavior.  Wonder if the best is next to come, when I just got fired from a well paying job, because somebody has to be responsible for the system failure, and its not the guy above me.  So now I am gone, “Have a nice weekend.”  Your severance pay will be generous.  No worries.

 

And yet, just knowing something could happen, puts me in jeopardy.  Not sure how to substantiate this claim, as I do not have the facts.  And when it happens to you, it is too late.  Identity theft and you need a new social security card, and the person at the windows says, “We don’t do that.  Next.”

 

Becomes a formidable task when all we want to do, is protect my family and our  interests.  Identity theft and it has become serious.  And if there is a reason and the world is too complex to let me in on one of those dirty little secrets that truly affect me, should I just take a few days off, have some weekend fun, and come back on Monday, prepared to handle my business?  Makes me wonder.

I CAN'T FIX IT

I CAN’T FIX IT

Came here and wanted to write a blog, but am not sure what will transpire.  Been up for a few hours, and have a routine.  Check email and current news and then play a video game of Tiger Woods golf, xbox 360 version.  Update myself by scanning the headline banners, and do a quick take of all things, local and global.  Not sure that it does me much good, and focuses my mind on the idea,  no matter what might be going on out there, overnight, or even now,  I Can’t Fix it.  So this becomes the subject of this blog.

 

And will piece it altogether and be satisfied, because the 4^th of July is over now, and the dogs I pass aren’t shaking now.  Seems the loud sound of firecrackers, near and far, set the dogs nervous system off, some more than others.  So we are done with that.  Read that a stunt man died when he put fireworks on his head, and set them off.  Not sure what happened, as I felt it was more than a freak accident.  Expect accidents on the 4^th of July, concerning fireworks, mostly fires.

 

But then I dismiss my wonder and concern, about what was really going on.  Light a fire to fireworks and its located near your head and face.  What does one expect.  Not sure.  Feel bad as a life was lost.  But then, I am in a mess right now, because I hear about or read about so many things that register and alert me to the fact that I can’t fix so many things.  Made a pledge that I would not make more of this idea, than is necessary.  Note the problem, and then move on.  Let it be.

 

Not sure what the point of this blog will be.  Starts out as both a routine matter of getting my day started.  Write every day.  Is the instructions I gave myself, when I first joined this blog site.  Now it has been many years, since I programmed myself, and now I realize my brain is shrinking, and writing is like a hobby now.  No requirement in the sense, this is what I do for a living.  Retired and writing is but a link and endeavor to the outside world.  And in doing so, posting blogs I realize it is more like a non-event in the sense, I can’t fix it, and don’t know what to fix.  Mostly I survey the words and blogs of others, and try to fit in.  What are others writing about.  What do others find interesting, and it dawns on me.  “I have no clue.”  Am so self-contained and living in bubble, not sure what others are doing.  Just no clue.

 

 Dealing with a retro-vintage me, and that is where I get off the bus.  Bus Stop in the middle of no where and not sure why I am here.  But that is just one of the many things I concern myself with, as a side effect of being retired, and wanting to be active and busy.  Be.  Do.  Celebrate and be happy.  Is how I want my day to be.  And that is it.  Keeping it simple.

 

“If its not broken, don’t fix it.”  That is old-school-me talking to myself.  Then I realize some problems are not problems at all.  Like today, we are addressing the issue of Wild Fires in the area I live in.  But its only a problem if I want to leave the city, where I reside in a downtown building, made of brick.  Near the water, so not as hot as it might be.  Hear the sirens, but never see the fire, and the air pollution isn’t good, fire or not, so smoke and bad air are just what is.

 

And I can’t fix it.  Like global warming and strange weather, I want to make things better.  I just don’t know how.  And that’s when I realize, I am out of sync with the world-at-large.  Am invisible.  But then maybe not.  I write a blog.  I have my say.  Start with the idea that I Can’t Fix It, but maybe if I talk about it, I will feel better about being so limited.   So I write this blog.  And now I’m done.  Had fun trying to get my head around certain things.  But then, decide to sit and drink some tea.  Contemplating the very Idea, I can’t fix it, so why get myself upset. 

And just to make sure we are all on the same page,  read a blog this morning and it focused me on just one thing.  The blog was about Drama and Commotion and Soap Opera as a part of a thought.com-person’s normal day.  And is what I am going on about.  The personal side of blogging, and the ones who do it, write and post and stir things up.  Part of our day, and I have decided.  Do it.  Ignore it, as if totally oblivious.  Or just do your thing.  Am sure others know how to handle the things that just show up, on this blogging site.  We get experienced by just staying involved.  And that’s it.  Can’t Fix It.  So I’m done.  Have a good day.  Drama Free.

 

fascinated by the chase

FASCINATED BY THE CHASE

 

9 pm on a summer night and it is 86 degrees Fahrenheit .  I have been cooling my heels for most of the day.  Flat lined when I sensed what kind of day this would be, and can say now,  it was a gradual build up to what turned out to be, anti-climactic for me.   For a while I lost my voice, and the words that come so naturally.  Dehydration and frustration that I wasn’t in control, and that things would play-out, with or without me.

But I would not let go, and have been following this pursuit, knowing it would not go on forever.  But it went on for 22 days or more.  Fear in the hearts of the citizens of New York and Pennsylvania and perhaps even into Canada.  By now it is clear that I was caught up in the news and vicariously involving myself in an event that brings in all the elements of hunt and chase, and even as I was far removed, as each day went by, I was not interested in endless repeat of the details of how two honor prisoners of a maximum security prison in Up-State New York, but was caught up and utterly fascinated with the hunt and chase and the dynamics of such an endeavor.

 

Turns out it is a natural preoccupation and interest of mine.  Was raised without a hunting gun,  but found the predator idea acceptable.  The Human Animal and there has to be a prey, and we have to eat.  Early on, I did not take well to the idea of being a vegetarian, although in time I would find myself in the grocery store, in the produce aisle.  But that was much later on in life.

 

These blog are short and I do not want to lose focus.  From the dawn of time, comes signs of the primitive, where hunt and chase and capture is essential.  So my mind has been wandering, ever since this prison escape, as I thought containment and captivity was built into the system of correction centers, prisons and holding cells.  At the first of the month and two prisoners escape, am not sure what I expected.  Escape.  Capture.  Freedom or Death.

Theirs or Mine.   Not sure what I expected.

 

So as it continued on, it became apparent.  Stoney was fascinated with the chase and the prolonged experience of the men on the run, and those in pursuit.  And I had google news banners to guide me in my follow- a-long of the script playing out, and like I said before, all of this truly fascinated me.  Made me feel young and useful again.  Over the period of many weeks, the complexity of the hunt and chase and pursuit increased.  Of course we did not get all the nitty gritty details, reliant on the end of the day, or break in news flash.

 

Enjoyed it while it lasted.  Probably is a hint that I am an adrenaline freak.  Don’t really like loud noises, nor gunshots close to me.  Makes my hair stand on end, and deters me from the task at hand.  Liked when the dogs entered the chase.  How can one avoid capture when technology is followed on the ground by dogs.  Keen sense of smell and tracking.  Who stands a chance of gaining freedom in a setup like this.  But again I keep going back to the notion this hunt and chase lasted more than 3 weeks, and was mostly on foot, as the terrain was rough, and the getaway girlfriend had a panic attack, and didn’t show up with vehicle and driver.

And so it goes.  Unpredictable behavior and suddenly its all lights and shadows and no one knows for sure, what is occurring.

Takes time to collect the facts.  Have gotten use to the idea that the surveillance society and all the tools required for it are in place.  Suddenly I realize that I could last a few weeks, hunted by the authorities, even in today’s modern police state and way of being.  Takes time to make it all happen.

Thought it would be instantaneous, once the dogs were brought out.  Scent.  Track.  Capture.  Fascinates me that it wasn’t an instant outcome of well practiced teams of men, that the inmates would be captured.  In the end,  one is dead and the other is headed back to prison.  End Game.  Ends in Capture.  Or death.   Or both.  Serious business, being the prey and having little practice at the escape clause in this long sentence you have endured, getting to this point.

Its over now.  We can go back to enjoy the moment.  Next up is 4^th of July.  And we can now go out into the woods, without extra ordinary fear of something bad happening.  In my mind, it was a fair chase.  Escaped prisoners made a contest of it.  Fascinated I was with the unfolding in this situation.  Had no horse in the race, and have a built in notion that the bad guy will never win.  Fascinated, not with the dynamics of this hunt, nor the action that went on and on, more so was excited that I involved myself.  3 weeks worth, and on a rough mountain area, set out like a chess board, with only so many moves and places to go.

Takes strength to extend the game or event.  Performance and everybody was playing for keeps.  Is what makes it interesting to me.  Anticipation and then disappointment for law enforcement that what they are doing does not produce instant results.  Then on the other side,  hunt and chase and sometimes want the prey, be it bear or deer or man, to get away uninjured.  Like the idea that anything is possible, and in this day and age, with technology and methodical training going on, both in the military and in public law enforcement, all is tilt in the favor of the Hunter, and the prey, well is thought that freedom is but a dream, and will never come.

So I found myself chasing shadows.  Waking up in the middle of the night, to see if the prisoners were apprehended.  Checked Google news.  Went back to sleep when I didn’t see what I was looking for.  And this went on for 3 weeks.  And now its over.   Had one of those days where I stayed by myself for the most part.  Not sure it was a let down period for me.  In fact, I will spend a little time collecting details that will surely come out in the news.  The thrill of the chase is recent.  The price of the chase will become known later.

And I must say.  I like feeling safe.  I like that 1,200 well-trained people were out and about at a sacrifice to their life and limb, and that in the end there were results that seem acceptable, even to me.  I like the underdog and the ones on the bottom, but when you are a threat to me and my family, and families like mine,  I take the law enforcement side.  Don’t let the bad guy get away.  No never.