State Beyond Words

State Beyond Words

 

“What state are you in?”

Lately I have wanted to start all my blank pages with a dialogue, as if finally I have been influenced by what others are writing.

“Why be different?”  He asks.

But of course he knows the answer.  He can live a life without questions, if only he lives on bread and water and stays with the basics which aid life support.

 

“Can you live without your cell phone?”

And with that comes GPS and Facebook and some urge within to share your life with others.  Comes down to a reoccurring urge to let others know you are in the moment and ever present.  Is the gift technology has given.  The sense of always being one click away and at the tip of ones fingers as its touches it way to satisfaction.

It is no secret if you have been around for any length of time.  I am a suspicious person.

“Paranoid?”

 

Perhaps.  Suspicious and the answer to that is, most definitely.  Has doubts about everything, and when he sees quotes and words between the brackets, he wonders why.  Why single out this single thought.  Why draw attention to this?  And that is when he knows to schedule another therapy session.

“Are you nuts?”   She asks.

 

And he knows he has prepaid for 60 minutes of talk therapy on his current morning session, and for all he knows is talking to a cutout and a blank screen, even as it appears this is live and somebody who can help him, is actually available.

Makes it easier to talk when he realizes its therapy and not just some talk session with a friend on Facebook.

 

Normally he answers his own questions and does not rely on others for guidance.  Independent and does not belong to a major party.  “What state are you in?”  And he takes it as it comes.  Physical state.  Mental state.  State beyond words and this is where his best thought lie.  Ask me where I am or what my mental state of mind might be, and I interpret most of what is asked of me with the simple overlay.

“Where do you keep your money?”

 

Turns out that is the inquiry that took over last week.  Had to do with off-shore accounts and where rich people keep that which is dear to them.  I had to laugh.  Turns out to be an example of something that does not apply, because I have made a conscious effort to have quality of life, and for me that means what I have in front of me.  Water.  Mountains.  Breathable land and a place to walk.  Fresh air.  Abundance as is not-man-made for me.   Seems this separates me from my computer and the people on the other side that have something to hide.

State of mind and this takes me somewhere having money does not.  What is important here and settles me to the point where I have time on my hands, and a place to sit in comfort without crowds and density taking over.  Not exactly in seclusion, but is a by-product of where I live and spend my hours daily.  Not on my cell phone.  Try to limit myself to 3 hours or less on the computer.  And find most of my computer time is spent late at night watching Netflix movies.  Costs a little to have beam-me-up-Scottyd entertainment, but I am not complaining.  Quite the opposite, actually.

 

Today’s blog is a celebration of being invisible.  Out of range and out of sight, and this has you wondering.   Off-shore accounts and near island and inner bay seclusion, and what does this have to do with me?   Then Stoney Blogger shows up saying:

“Is where my best times in life have been lived.”  State Beyond Words and a place of peace and quiet.  And is the point of showing up, presenting this blog and adding a few pictures.  He wants you to know he is doing okay.  Off-Shore.  Without a penny in his pocket.  He has all he needs, because today it is all done electronically.  Automatic deposit.  Sight-unseen.

 

Humboldt Current

Humboldt  Current

 

Drifting around but not going in every direction at once,  I have decided that maritime roots and water basics might keep from drowning on my own spit and spittle, and getting over my head, when all I wanted to do is catch up, blog and not make a deep hole for me to climb out of.  You see it is the rainy season and water accumulates and could be a problem.  Came to the title because I use to read and study history, and on the west coast of America and was always interested in the idea:  How did I get here? 

 

 Possibly it’s a subconscious connection with the water and mountains and am not landlocked, which could raise my attention when first reading about The Humboldt Current.  But wasn’t enough.  Had to go to another search engine and type in:  After dark  Humboldt Current.  This is where I think the drift begins. 

 

Maybe it is enough to speak of the rain and then of the lush green landscapes that are but walking distance from where I find myself typing.  Not sure if its polite conversation or just friendly word flow, but must mention the bodies of water that bracket me and make it difficult to get to the mountains without a car or boat.  Puget Sound to the west, and Lake Washington to the east.  Huge area of water I cannot swim across.  Probably should not have mentioned spit and spittle in the first paragraph, but rather deal with the idea of water as part of my lifeblood. 

 

Before I drift too far off topic, will mention that I have outsourced my rudder.  “Get my drift.”  Is a cry for help.  Want some assistance with getting from point A to Point B, and the best I could do is Blog Title this:  Humboldt Current  before or after midnight, but after dark.  360 degree turn around as I try to navigate and get somewhere when I am totally dependent on others.  GPS and its on the cell phone or hand-held. 

 

 Acts like it knows where you physically are located, checks keystrokes and your request to get over or get around or just make due with where you are and your major concern is getting some chips and fish, or chips and hold the fish.  Quintessential situation when the ferry is at the Waterfront Dock and you are being held up by too much construction between you and ferry.  Detours and it seems to be an obstacle.  Hence the mention of continental drift and the Humboldt Current. 

State of mind in calm water and with sun not in play because this is the rainy season and reflection off the water seldom reaches me, because cloudy with indecision and I am frozen in place, because Alaska is not far away and it confuses me when to go for help.  Different perspective when you can’t catch the ferry, and whales and dolphins are principle influence when you think about it.   

 

Waterway and transportation from point A to Point B, and as I said before Puget Sound and Lake Washington are obstacles I cannot overcome.  Not just now anyway.  Bars and nightclubs are but a few blocks away.  The monorail is closed for the day.  Bus tunnel is open but scares me to go underground when rain follows my every step and inside is a fear that I will drown on my own spit or spittle. 

 

Oscillation of brain waves helps me be free to choose what direction this blog will take next.  Just wanted to write something to show signs of life.  If that has been accomplished and the blog seems as if it served a purpose,  I will quit.  Tie myself up to the dock, check the moorings and feel secure.  Glad I asked for help.  Have my bearings now, and drift and drowning are not imminent.  Feet on the ground, head in the clouds, and feels as if I will make it through this night.   

 

 Is a relief and Humboldt Current be dammed.  Put something between me and the open water and I will celebrate  landfall and stable conditions that will not be influenced by the rain tapping on my window, and asking me to come out into the night.  Not sure if this has been a personal narrative of a journey out my front door, or an unnecessary shift of planets and earth that has unnerved me and caused me to veer off course.  

 

 Think I am okay now.  And want to thank you for your help.  Saved by GPS.  Think that might exhaust the subject for now.  G’day or night.  Rest easy.  Missed the ferry boat but now come to terms with it, and feel better now.  Again.  Thanks.

 

Don't Force Feed The Penguin

DON’T FORCE FEED THE PENGUIN

 

Don’t Feed The Penguin  seems like something one would see at a local ZOO, and not as the title of a blog, but for some reason early in the day I was compelled to write it down.  “…don’t force feed…..”  Not sure what exactly inspired the idea force feeding a penguin, but think it has more to do with a google news banner that certainly received my attention.  ‘…youth takes selfie.  Dolphin dies.”  I do think I took a vow, to not let anything that happens while I am online on the world-wide-internet to surprise me or take over and dictate my actions.  As the years go by, I tell myself that I have seen most of what I can expect in the way of modern day experiences and should not be overly influenced.

 

Yet, on a day where I wake up over-thinking the act of force feeding a penguin, and make it personal to me, as if I had my very own and made a pet of it.  Dogs and cats I understand.  Fish and birds to some degree I understand.  But force-feeding a penguin and taking personal responsibility to tell my readers this is important, has me wondering.  Where did that idea come from.  Where did the notion to blog about it come from.  And more importantly, what will I say when confronted with a comment:  “Now why did you write this blog?”

Your pets are not your children.  A sign that reads, “Don’t Walk On The Grass”, is not your life.  Before I go too far, I must be good with the spontaneous nature of the blogs he writes.  Accept responsibility for the blog and move on.  Has been what guides me over the years that I have been doing this.  So its there.  The warning.  Be reasonable.  Mention what you will, but then let it go. I want to mention that penguins do not have teeth.  And why is that important?  My next thought is that I have no idea why I needed to emphasis what a penguin has or does not have.  I should stay closer to home, and talk about what I have and do not have, and what is not in my closet, and use that as justification for leaving a note on the kitchen table that states:  Gone On A Shopping Spree.  Be Back When The Money Runs Out.

Not sure it is my business to be interested in the diet and eating habits of others, and certainly not to be overly concerned about what penguins do.  And that is really the point of all this.  Big world and if we have time, there is so much knowledge available online and via this screen, if only time permits.  So can educate ourselves in so many ways not available when I was young and in school.  There are blogs that deal with this and address the online educational opportunities that exist today.  I understand that and am still pondering why not force feeding penguins is important.  Perhaps when I am done here and read some comments if indeed there are any, I will get that 3^rd party second opinion and the Ah Ha Light will come on, and I will be able to get a full night’s sleep without tossing and turning over something I had done earlier in the day, which adds to the condition of being sleep deprived.

 

Did you know that the unconscious mind is a powerful tool  and influences us, even while we are unaware of this.  Keep asking myself, did I see something on Netflix last night before falling asleep about the cartoons and Penguin movies for children.  Was something like that playing in the background of my mind as I was sleeping.  Of course I am unaware, but do know that when I sat down to have tea as is my early morning routine,  I had to write it down.  “Don’t Force Feed The Penguin.”  And now it’s a blog.  Will not have the luxury of being overly emotional on the subject, or lash out on the occasion of viewing a sick penguin.  Truth is I have never been walking distance to a penguin, nor seen one up close.  But have seen them in movies and on the screen, thanks to Netflix and others.

Caring for myself and others and possibly extending that experience to nature’s best, it occurs to me that we have polluted and contaminated the planet and the food chain.  I have a very explicit note and reminder on my Refrigerator that reads.  “…be careful about the mercury content in fish and seafood that you bring home or eat in restaurants.”    Now I wonder if I am just becoming a better person, a better consumer, or a citizen of the planet that is concerned and trying to correct some of the devastating things that happen, because of me.  Mostly the idea of force feeding a penguin, or its opposite:  Do not force feed the penguin leans in the direction of nature taking care of its own.  Leave it to nature.

 

The Caring of wild animals and birds and such not be something one blogs about.  Wonder if I have this lesson learned.  Perhaps if I was an expert in the field of Penguins I could expand on this subject.  Since I am not, I think I have satisfied my requirement.  To write.  To post.  And to move on.  Knowing tomorrow I can write about something else.  And I will.

Was just in the kitchen and it occurred to me.  Life Threatening.  Life Changing.  If an event seems that it could be one of the above, then no harm is done if you blog about it.  Just be sure to put the notice out:  I am a concerned person, but not an expert on this or anything else I am aware of.  Now I am satisfied.  And in the back of mind am now aware why I might say, “Don’t Force Feed The Penguin.”  Makes perfect sense.  In a strange way.  Which is a reflection of the world I live in and the things we have done in my life time.  Strange, what people do.  Just is.  

 

Resource Scarcity

Resource Scarcity

 

Before I go too far, I will say this:   “I can’t get enough.”

Now I will tell you more.  I walk the distance to you in my mind.  Then I stumble and fall.  Find out I have been going backward all this time trying to reach you.  Now I have crossed that line.  Fault line and the disturbance is more than magnetic resonance as I make it to the poles and am electrocuted by the jolt that connect me.  Electrified.  Dissatisfied.   

“Tell me this is not happening.”

 

Electra-magnetic touch.  Light and shadows make it possible to examine where I have been.  Having nominal thoughts about the ordinary nature of things and it occurred to me in frantic reconstruction of the energy flowing from positive to negative; had I been grounded there would have been no damage done.

Grounded I was not.  Instead I walk the distance to you in a trance, and thrill-power propels me from one mental place to another.  Not grounded.  Air-wave intransigence and not aware all of this could have been avoided.  If only goal and purpose were attached to this situation, and I had known.   But I did not know.  Was distracted.  But not the way you were.

Before I go too far, I will say this:   “I can’t get enough. Luv.”

Thought it possible the love would prevail in real time.  Perhaps it did.  Have no transcript in the backward tumble of facts and detail that mean much now.  Mental flight takes passage in the chaos of bewilderment.  Leave me to take the next step.  Out of Body Experience, perhaps.

 

Travel in opposite directions happens as my conveyance is mental and yours is not.  Real time and there is urgency in the moment for you.  Love must be and if it is there, will be found.  You are determined that this is true.  True for him is something else.  Won’t be settled, and he quickly moves on.  It is all in his head.  He is in love with surroundings that have a foundation in yesterday.

The next step offers no relief.  It all happens at different levels.  Had no idea love would be like this.  Had no idea that love has the power to sever and disconnect the contents of mind, now hovering over body.

Before I go too far, I will say this:   “I can’t get enough love.”

Perhaps it is a resource scarcity.   That escalates and is self-perpetuating.

 

He straddles an electric fence.  Digital obstacle that is not easily removed.  Is like an ether boundary.  The results are debilitating.  No damage would have occurred had he been grounded.  But he wasn’t.  And the damage is traceable beyond state of mind and thought. The reality is quite inclusive and quite persuasive.  No second chance.  Nature has its own way.  As do we all.

“Take a walk with me.”  He said.   “Hold on to my hand and what we have.”

In the end he was out there.  Left unprotected.  Was grounded in the past and in a mental landscape that was uncoupled and incomplete.  This made all the difference, but not in real time.

Still, he wanted to say.  “Valentine’s Day   2016.”

“Find Love.”