Sunday, March 12, 2017

plagiarize my conviction




plagiarize my conviction

 


I struggle through the mind-map of issues.  Once quite certain what the nature of my life might be, now I know.  Uncertainty is straight ahead on the path now traveled.  I struggle to catch up and face myself.  Finally after so many years I realize what kind of person I am.  Difficult in the simplest way to express all of this, and so it is I think to plagiarizes the self-made picture of myself, and make some changes.  But then I think, plagiarize only happens when we copy other's idea or writing.  So I think,  the copy machine is dead.  We snap a web page  on the internet with our smart-phone, and   have an instant copy of another person’s material.  Read and then rearrange it in our mind, and reassemble.  Can’t imagine the ramifications of such things.  Big trouble, or no trouble at all.  Click.  Click.  And who is to say what kind of person I am, when fractured down the middle, becomes a well-rehearsed: “Stuck on the center-line, waiting to be hit.” 


Unravels the mystery of it all, waiting for demise based on something that appears in a blog.  It happens.  Depends on what state you are in, and if you have something others might want.  “Sue Him.”  She said.  And that states the issues of my existence in thumb-nail summary form.  Condense it down and go straight for the jugular vein.  Instant death or a lot of bleeding, and pleading for mercy.  In the end, I resign and accept my fate.  Plagiarize  one’s convictions and live or die with the change that occurs, as we mature and give more weight to the consequences of a simple act: blogging.  

 


Day in and month after month, passes quickly to many years of writing a daily or weekly essay.  Not the same as sitting down with a friend over tea, and listening, conversing and learning from such interaction.  Blog and comment, is different as we know from instant messaging.  Chat is phone or texting and is sharing.  Comment reading after a blog is written, and we find out what they think.  We can respond, but then again, we might not.   


 

Copy-cat society and when and where do we find the original?  Comment but then it seems on the other end, is a refusal to talk about the issues or details that really matter.  One-sided.  Self-centered and out in traffic, waiting to get hit.   


There was a time when it was novel.  Cut and Paste and easy to get the words out in front of me, for inspection.  Mine for the taking, as long as I keep it to myself.  Not an academic effort and I had no conscious sense of the consequences of my actions.  Blog.  Cut and Paste and then decide, can I improve on this, or just let it be.    Not sure if adding a picture changes the words I see.  In the end, it is a race to the center line.  Once there, not sure how long one can maintain the position.  Forces on both side rush by. 


 


 Movement in all direction, yet for your own survival, must remain perfectly still.  Let others decide your fate.  You made it this far.  You posted the blog.  Was it original and won’t be challenged as it stands, or does any of that really matter.  Comment and in public space, the rest is out of your immediate control.  Or so it seems.  


Out of Control.  Jelly Roll.  And I just eat it, and then complain when I get fat.  Is a decision based on past habits.  Roll with the Punch and too much sugar, no matter how you figure it.  Out of shape and makes havoc with the disciplined side of me.  To be safe and to get out of the traffic buzzing around us, do we need to cheat or as they say, “ invest in a hedge fund.”  And put our trust in market forces and money and the gold standard.  Seeking an easy way out, and he finds a busy New York Avenue, centers himself and watches as the yellow metal gets so close, he holds his breath.  “ One false move and it is over. “   Something he heard from a Viet Nam Veteran.  Declining standards make getting hit easier when standing on The Center Line in a stream of traffic.  New dangers come with AI and self-driven cars and bus and truck. 

 

Innocent thing to do in the 1960’s.  “Go stand in the corner. Time Out.”  And over the years all that became, Center Line Existence and too much information available and easy to reconstruct.  Somethings perhaps we need to avoid like the plague, and copy-cat like maneuvers will end up inside the detection machine, and there will be consequences.  There are varying types of plagiarism and one might need to be a scholar to discern what is and what is not.  Too much effort and not enough time, out in the real world, so we cut and paste and forget to give credit to the genius that came up with this in the first place.  Dishonesty and it seems to be all around me.  Off-the-shelf and ready to go, is how I find myself these days.  Have ambition but older now, so am brushed aside by the constant force of speeding objects, passing by.

 

Is difficult in modern times to determine, when to go and where to stay.  Don’t go there, has taken over my mind.  Have lost control and uncertainty at best is a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter’s day, and am not sure how much room to leave in the cup, for sugar and cream.  “Be sweet.”  She said.    Mainstream consciousness, and with a spoon to stir things up, is an immediate way to express displeasure.  Not simple like I want it to be.  Language and its being abbreviated now.  TBD.  LOL.  WTF.  Need an essential guide to basic understanding, and a strong instinct when to heed the warning:  “Don’t Go There.”  


Almost done with today’s minor topic and concern.  What to avoid.  The Plague.  What not to do:  Plagiarize.  Where to not stand:  The Center Line in Mainstream downtown traffic.  And that’s it.  Plagiarize my convictions,  hold your breath and take one step in any direction, and decide one way or another,  what is important now.  The original or the copy-cat version in a sea of change, which will I present as my signature move when uncertainty leaves me short of breath and I have but one more card to play:  All In.   

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Crystallization




Crystallization


Crystallization of a Maverick Moment is the full title of this blog.  Title is too long and often misunderstood, as we have a short attention span and we must attend to such things.  Begins with crystal and I wonder if it matters, that this was the name of my first girlfriend.  Was 8 years old and was prevented from taking valentine and candy to this young Miss.  Set me up for life.  Romantic no more.  Practical and all things come with consequence, not always as one would project.

 

Crystallization of disappointment and that is with me now as a maverick moment.  Frustrated.  Disappointed.  Fizzle and dissipate.  Opens the gate to all things down stream that end up in the ocean off the Japanese beach as radiated-junk  with an aura of certain hell.  Not for all, and so it goes.  Pass it on to the swim and the league of besieged fins 30 meters below.  Pass it on, or pass on it.  Not sure which.  But will work on that which becomes clear as crystal becomes:  Crystal now all-grown up.  No longer 8 years old.  No longer a heart-throb with my name on it.  Just a name I almost forgot.  But then I wrote or started this blog, and most of that which is important, returns.



Not sure what I should emphasize:  The Full Title and scope of something developing, like a storm 300 miles out,  and still in the formative stages.  Too early to discuss, and yet is all he thinks about now.  An idea forming and given voice by an abbreviated title line in a blog that will be read, but not fully understood. 

“Why?”   

Because it didn’t happen to you, it happened to me.

 


Is the structure he uses.  Short blog with definite space allotted, and is not equipped for something more complicated than just asking, “Why are we talking about Crystal, when there are more important things we could talk about?”



His answer:  “No time. “   Can’t talk about it, but he wants to.  Wants to include everything, and extends Crystallization to a few lines about a young Miss with the name Crystal.  Gone and off-topic now,  stoney and in the mood:

he just says what he was thinking in the first place.  Crystallization of a Maverick Moment.  Now the blog spontaneously crystalizes.  It is there, and covers all kinds of things.  Forms.  Patterns.  Structures. Mental Giants made of air.   Gains momentum and displays self-organizing properties.


“No time for this.”  He repeats but is slowly watching the length and breadth of blog extending, as if put together by some external agency.  It happens.  A molecule and a crystal, and it seems to be inhuman.  Not cruel but yet, disturbing.  Not put into play by a human, and not by stoney-blogger.  Words spontaneously crystalize.  Sea-Monster in Mind.  Spontaneous Growth.  Comes from the coffin of something done when he was but 8 years old.  First response to a feeling he did not comprehend.  No idea what romantic was supposed to be.

 

Saved his paper route money and bought candy and came up with a Valentine’s Card.  Then appears a step-father and was penciled in as an alien voice and opinion, and made its presence felt as the external agency I would live to defy.  “No time for this.  Too young for love.”


Emotions crystallize in a maverick moment.  In his head, and he can’t extinguish the flame, nor the pain.  Too young.  Must proceed with logic and imperative planted in an adult.  Passed on as a family thing, and now embedded.   He has stopped talking about it.  Feels little when others express all this.  Candy.  Valentine’s Day Card.  Perfume and a Love Spell.  Can’t put him into this scene.  Won’t admit to being a hostage of love or the lack of it.


Hopeless  Romantic and is his sore spot.  It hurts.  “No time for this.  Too young for love.”  But he is older now.  Wants to do a Google Search for  Crystal (Don’t Know Her Last Name).”  Wants to apologize for throwing the candy and the card and his heart in the trash.  But it is too late for that.  Blog is too long.  Part of the rule base.  Must stop now.   “Can’t do it.  Love is impossible.” Not something we talk about in our family.   Many years later and it is not crystal-clear. What did an 8 year old girl have to do with this?     Prohibition.  Alcohol and Love.  Against The Law.  

 And still, he wonders why.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Transient Duty






Transient Duty





“Deny Everything.”


Then tomorrow change your mind, and move on.

Say.  “NEXT.”


And be done with it.  Why look back.  We all make mistakes. 
We are human.

Besides we must consider this:  Our time is a precious commodity.   

Choose Wisely.


 


Having said that, it is now up to others to spin their wheels and join in.  Life and spontaneous combustion, and a world-at-large that is feeding on itself, and devouring all that is, and social media is the dinner table.  “All Sit.”  As if it is a necessary habit of being and we must feed ourselves that which nourishes us.   Each is unique.  So nothing I say here actually applies.  But it is my duty, and I call it as I see it:  Transient Duty.  The responsibility of those passing through, but standing before you and waiting to be judged and processed by the system.  And so it goes.     

Transient.  Passing though.




“NEXT.”  What does it all mean?  And does it really matter.  Do I need to understand the term he is using, and what he wants me to take away from the conversation?
“Don’t Know.”     That is my answer and will repeat it as often as you persist.  Now time to go. 


 “Get out of my face.  


 Done here.  Done with  you.  Move on.”




And cites an example from two different sources, just in case there is still some confusion  or misunderstanding of his true intent and usage of the word:  Transient.

“The transient beauty of youth.”  Comes from something he read.  He thinks it might apply, but with so many opinions floating around, he can’t pinpoint the reason why.

And then another take on all of this.



We begin with deception.   A Gypsy chuckle.  A gadje man lured to spend money by his susceptibility to a pretty face.

Seems legitimate to me.  The transient beauty of youth and susceptibility to a pretty face, and when I write this I ask myself:  Just mentioned in passing during the opening stages of presenting a blog theme that might interest you, and I wonder:  

 Do I have A TRANSIENT DUTY or do I just do as I said I would in the beginning.




“Deny Everything.”    “Move on.”
Temporary in all phases and he knows:  Love Guides Us Through Our Journey.  Passionate movement and he seeks the best in the present moment.
Saying  once more.  “Ignore me.  I am just passing through.   Daily Blog.  No principal.  It is free.”  The Gypsy said to me.


 


Invisible now.  Not something I talk about, but have friends in low places and will tell you more.  Received a message and it said.  “…. Miss you.  Please write….”   And this became a reminder of necessity.
Friends in low places and must locate myself on this spinning planet.  Lower 48 States.  USA.  Main-land.  And Texas on the bottom where they talk. 

 “Build a wall.”   

But we all know we all receive the message differently.  


 

“Miss you.  Please write.”   And here I am doing my transient duty.  Words dirty and dangerous and when pinned down and held responsible it goes like this.
“Deny Everything.”  Plead for forgiveness.  And if they let you go, move on quickly.  Be invisible now.


 


It is important to not read too much into this.  She said.  “Please write.”
Transient Duty and he takes it seriously.  Write something a Gypsy might chuckle over.  But who knows as all of this begins with deception and is structured around misdirection.  

 Seems obvious, he is on something or as others might say,

 “On To Something.  Not sure what.”
As it happens there is no turning back.  We have read the blog this far and might as well look at the pictures and wait for the moment when we read:  

 “THE END.”




 


Fortified with Irony, is best not to complain.  Enjoy the moment and then go on, into your day and life and journey.  Has very little to do with me.  Except when the message is clear and he receives it.  “ Miss you.  Please write.”
Not sure that I have much more to say just now.  Primitive Twin and no replacement for two of a kind so different that even mother doesn’t know, which is which.  Too busy.  Have to talk to them and discover what’s on the inside, as they look identical on the surface, but once you get to know them and are down a level or two, is practical to ask: 

 “What was I thinking.”  

 Primitive Twins, never the same.


 


And we move on.  “Damn Him.”   “Stop talking about building a fence and walling us out.  We are on the move.  Stop us if you can.”  And from the rear we hear a laugh.

“Just do it.”

Comes with a promise too good to be true.  “Gypsy on the Moon.  And in our hearts.”

Transient Duty and we move on.  Looking for a sign. 

 Benevolent Creation and Resting Place.  

   Call it: “Love.”