OFFEND DEFEND PC

OFFEND  DEFEND  

 PHYSICAL CONFIDENCE

I am a confidence man.  Pull the hood over my head, hood-wink me if you can.  Does this offend you?  That I defend my physical prowess or lack of.  Offend Defend:  Physical Confidence.  My blog for today.  And yes, is way more than just body language and smoke signals behind leaded-glass.  Has a lot to do with how one sees into the mirror of self-existence.  Physical verification that brings confidence as each day passes, and if it does not, do we still defend the position that offends others. 

Interesting thoughts to me, waiting to be revealed.  Inner thoughts of a confidence man or wait should we say,  this confident man in front of you.  Offend or Defend.  Let’s take the position.  Take the position that its good if its all natural.  No steroids.  No mind games.  Its all about the pre-release special, what happens when his performance comes up a little short.  Defend him and say, “Can happen to us all.  Having a bad day.”  Or say, “I was offended by his performance.  He disrespected me by not bringing his A-Game.”  What was he thinking;  What’s going on?

Physical Performance.  Minimal confidence.  Have to do better, before she beats the crap out of him.  She expects better.  In the real world, away from the cameras.  Situation made easy, just bring it and make sure its good.  Don’t disrespect me by constant freefall from now on.  Had a bad day.  With that I agree.  Now what, should I take you off my dream team, and void you from my day dreams and fantasy sessions. 

Easy girl, and not saying I am one.  But it would be better if and when the physical performance is better than to be expected.  Kiss and Make Up.  Improve your physical performance and make-up.  And that’s the plan, behind this blog:  Offend or Defend:  Physical Performance.

And now I am waiting for The Oscar’s.  Reaching out for the girl on the stage.  Will take what she gives me.  Best Actor.  Best Performance.  Want to feel good.  Receive your applause.  Will keep the acceptance speech short.  Is about trust and love and having confidence in this man and his performance.  Center Stage.

Have read his blogs before.  Not sure what I read and what it has to do with me.  Perhaps nothing.  Might be his Vanity Fair showing.  I am ready.  More than banter and body language.  Direct  contact.  Embraced and Dazzled by you.  Is more than just rapport and connection.  Is the inner feeling of confidence, yours and mine.  Nothing that is offensive nor has to be defended.  Just you and I. 

With all the confidence necessary, so make your move.  Impress yourself, and with that you will satisfy me.  Simple like that.  Is all about  building self-esteem and incremental improvement.  One kiss at a time.  And that’s it for today.  Short and Simple  Pre-release for the big event.  Oscar and Hollywood Night.  Paying tribute for performance and the best of everything.  Every detail on the screen and in the audience, I hope you will applaud.  Even if its true, the Oscar didn’t go to you.  Not this year.  But let’s not rule out the possibility of next year. 

Best Man of the Year. 

Best Performing Partner.

How cool is that. !!!!.

GET DOWN PLEASE

 

GET DOWN, PLEASE.

You say it one more time.  “Get Down, Please.”  Is it a command or a warning.  You try to sound authoritative.  But your heart isn’t really in it.  You have said it so many times before.  If you have raised children, this might sound oh so familiar.  Say it like you mean it.  Repeat yourself a thousand times and do not let any anger show.  Show and Tell. 

Doesn’t matter that all of this is directed towards the cat, who happens to be on the table, and yes:  that annoys you greatly.  Today, the real issue for me is not that the children will fall and hurt themselves. It is about some abbreviated spelling of a complex performance that is my real issue.  SOTU.  Am I suppose to know what that means? 

Rocks and that sinking feeling that you have tossed the first stone, and now the windows are about to rattle and break.  Cleaning up glass is never fun.  But even more so, when you say, “SOTU.”, its similar to when I tell the children or the cat, “Get Down, please.”  Probably should stop there, realizing I am a grown up.  I should know better.  Should know that SOTU is a reporter’s way of saying, State of the Union address.  But it annoys me.  Over and over again, this manipulation.  As if it means something. 

Walked through that door a hundred times.  Should know better by now.  You can’t yell at the children or the President of the United States when he is at the podium delivering his big speech.  “Get Down, please.”  I just want it all to go away.  But one thing I’ve learned.  Its hard and in that hidden place in my mind, SOTU and the words of others scarcely influence me.  I do as I please.  It doesn’t stop because I am polite.  Nor if I am angry.

Just in Time.  Don’t have to be a grandmother to know what to do.  SOTU.  State of the Union.  I need a friend.  Somebody to talk to.  Not the cat.  Before the children come along, who do you share all this with?  I need a friend that reminds me not to worry.  And maybe this is why I need to blog.  Have my frustrations and just put them out there.  Say:  “Get Down, please.” 

Have a cup of tea or a glass of wine.  Take something.  Blow smoke.  Just in Time, I realized.  That’s what I am doing.  This blog.  Touching the hidden places and hoping to escape.  Now and Then, this is how my day starts.  But then I remember.  It will all be over soon.  How fast the children grow up.  How quickly 4 years pass by and this President doesn’t get re-elected.  I love this.  SOTU.  Means very little when you realize, they aren’t listening anyway. Hand-Held Device.  Newspaper headlines are a thing of the past.  Dinosaur  Fast at play.  Or domestic cat.  Is their nature to be this way.  And still.  I persist.  I repeat myself.  “Get Down, Please.”  As if anything less  would be inappropriate.  And that’s it for this day. 

My blog.

A pleasant reminder.  I need a friend.  SOTU.  Just in Time.

DEAD HEAT

DEAD HEAT

I am facing a happy problem, if indeed unfinished business is as simple as no blogs in several weeks.  Not sure the root of the problem, but it’s a happy one, as I pick myself up and just decided.  Write.  Do it now.  Breaks my 6 week losing streak of silence.  Writing is usually fun for me, but for a  while I did the flip-flop.  Evacuated and left the scene.  Virtual World and Digital and it was time for a break.  So that happened, and now it seems the U.S. Postal Service wants to discontinue Saturday Delivery Service.  And that was a wake up call for  me.  No more flirting with the Saturday delivery person, or keeping it real.  Sooner or later, it all goes digital and I am thinking how good is that.  It is a happy problem. 

Like I said.  Inspires me to just sit down and write.  Dead Heat.  Juice and The Power Line. And this will be a blog about priorities.  What is important to you?  What is important to me.  In the middle of winter, breaking silence and bread.  Seeking warm feet and hands, takes the chill off our digital relationships, and now he speaks up.  Between here and there, and now and then, Dead Heat.  My blog for today.


 

Silence and no blogs for what seems like a very long time.  And now I need to decide what is important to tell, and what will be the mystery at the end of the year.  2012 and maybe I was disappointed that the Mayan Calendar was about something else, and End of This World, as we know it never came.  So here we are.  Required to go on, and the explanation they gave didn’t hold water for me.  Myth and Spin.  Earth on its Axis.  We are still here.  All clownish and putting on an act, media charm and people with something to say, but in the end it was a Dead Heat.  Nothing Happened.  The conversation dies.  End of the World.  2012.

I see it as Dead Heat between the future and the past.  The ancient Maya clearly believed things would happen, and then put a date on when all things would end.  What am I thinking now.  Were they wrong.  What is the latest word on achieving a Happy Ending to a happy problem.  Its not over.  We are here.  What is important to you now?  A question that has an answer, but in the digital-virtual reality we share, will I ever know.  If you are reading this, it means we are back at it.  He writes a blog.  And ponders the connection between the wise and the foolish.  Not here to convince myself, that I need an answer about that specific situation.

 Mayan Prophecy. 

Each lives on their own personal existence schedule.  The clock winds down.  Just so many heart beats and then as they say, “End of this World.”, as we know it.  But few say it as I do.  Dead Heat.  Its not about race.  We are all just people.  The visible part of us is important, but even so, there is value in mystery and misinterpretation of what you thought you saw.  Backward glances to those who lived before you.  Anthropologists and Experts, and now with the new technology, it all gets around, ever so quickly.

 

Do not require the U.S. Postal Service, like we did when life was lived on the Great Frontier. Stop Saturday Delivery Service.   Changes and the Implications.  Real or Digital.  What is important to you today?  I wonder.  And that is where I will stop.  My blog is just another attempt at understanding.  Why there is silence and all is golden.  And then people start up.  Extend prophecy and speculation.  What happens next?  

 

And I have decided that it only involves me if it has something to do with Love and Happiness.  Walking hand in hand with you.  I think.  This will be a happy problem.  Better than humdrum events like droughts or disease or sickness and the end of the world as we know it.  Better, but of course, not perfect.  In the end,  its about you and I, and Love. That Significant Other that we don’t really talk about.  That special alignment that gets him talking again.  Writing blogs.  And if you need a good reason why the World Didn’t End in 2012.  Ask Him.  He needs your help sorting it out.  What is important to you?  And what should he write about in his next blog.  And he blames it on Love.  

And holding hands with you. Cold Feet in the Dead of Night.  

Dead Heat And Blog Silence. 

And Mayan Prophecy. 2012.

Things we thought should happen;

The Happy Problem, left unsolved.

Unfinished Business.  You and I.   

TRATTORIA NIGHT OUT

TRATTORIA NIGHT OUT

It is really nice to be  young.  And gullible.   Something goes wrong and we can blame it on a lack of experience.  Learn by doing.   And I am thinking, Woman’s Night Out.  Dress up and get rewarded by going to the head of the dance club line.  No waiting.  Seems like the Perfect Night Out when things like that happen.  Not sure if it matters where you are, Roma Ladies and Sweet Tomato and homebrew.  Now I am thinking of that luscious handful, and  all you do is pay attention, and get their phone number at the end of the night. 

First course is a Caesar  Salad with an Adonis Hunk with shiny shoes and extra money to spend.  Tis a night long time coming, and can’t wait for the half-baked and the romantic toss.  Big Cheese inside, adorable and tucked away with you.  And I say again, “Its nice to be young.”

All of this is reminiscent of good times and no morning-after headache.  It happens.  Even without reservation.  Wasn’t thinking about too much that night.  Night Out.  Trattoria Special.  Come immerse yourself with  me.  Get your head around this.  Do the southern reach-around, if you know that step.  Dance and fixe the menu so it favors you.  Late Night Treat.  Get you some.  Its all available.  Pretty Ladies.  International Celebration of Life.  Think about it.  A night out, and you don’t really have to go home.  Day for the  Ex-hubby to have the children. His turn.  My weekend free.  And yes.  Best ingredients for a good time.  Free and Fresh and In-Season.  And beyond all this, we leave it to the imagination.  Bar and Meat Market and Men.  Besides all that, It’s family style.  Pick and Choose.  Score a Winner.

Relaxing and delicious.  I am.  Come early and spend some time with me.  Satisfy your craving.  Candles and soft light and a little romance.  Natural place to be.  Sustainable glee and good times.  Couple Up.  Don’t eat alone.  And yes, when he offers to use his credit card, do not say, “No.”  Cozy deal and a taste of the sweet life.  I deserve it.  Friday  night and Gluten- Free.  As good as it gets.  Leave the Android Iphone in the car.  You don’t need it.  I am here.  And there it is.  My favorite recipe for a Trattoria Night Out.  Total Value. 

End of the night and I get it.  Visualize dessert.  A nice girl and a soft bed.  Authentic and very clean.  This describes the scene, and all I have to do is bring it into view.  Centerpiece and Fresh Flowers.  I am inspired.  To go out.  Is Friday Night.  Contemporary way to spend the night without the children.  Intimate and Available.  Come any time.  Unforgettable dinning experience.  And like I said at the beginning.

“Its nice to be young.”

RELEASE POINT

RELEASE POINT

Was reading and it came to me.  “I’m Free.”  And it was in tweet style, with no explanation forth-coming.   Banner and Brief.  Not like it caught me without my shorts, and not like it wasn’t true.  Just on the screen and got me thinking about many subjects, simultaneously.  Like a trigger point, that when pressed, blocks the flow and life stops, or at least it seems like that.  So she went away.  Free to pursue other things.  But I didn’t.  So here I am.  I am free to pursue other things and options.  But I didn’t.  Is the hold on me by forces that make me who I am.  Fell in Love.  And now that’s what I do.  Free to love and be.  And that’s what I do.  Each and every day.  

 “I’m Free.” 

OTHER WORLD VOICE

OTHER WORLD VOICE

It is time to write a blog, and I have a couple of things on my mind, mostly I want to wear my wife’s shoes.  Put the shoe on the other foot, and see if that might slow me down.  First let’s examine my state of mind.  I am befuddled by the world around me.  And the reason is simple.  I am looking at today’s world from an antiquated point of view.  I will try to explain.  I am trying very hard to keep up, and not rush to judgment.    Just accept things the way they are, and not spend a lot of time and energy analyzing the situation.  But two things happened recently that is making me reconsider and not rest easy.  And so I will have my say here and now, and then let it go.  Can’t change a thing.  Its just a blog and the other world operates on its own, separate from me and what I am thinking about.  And so I will call this my Other World Voice, and justify looking at all this from swollen eyes, and will leave it up to you.  “Is he crying?”

There are 3 different things going on that influence this blog.  On Monday I was reading about The United States and finding somebody to be Secretary of Defense, a title that leads us down that path, and decided who the Military/Pentagon Boss will be for the next 4 years.  And suddenly was reading articles about how things were changing, and the Military Budget would be cut, and the emphasis would shift from foreign wars, to spending money and balancing the budget and maybe even, Jobs in the U.S.  Not necessarily military spending.  And that was simple enough.  The mindset is changing.  Or at least that is the general impression I had.  But then, I moved forward and looked at a list of movies that were moving into position to win an Oscar.  You know.  America.  Entertainment.  Winning an Oscar.  Like that’s important this time of year.  And I wasn’t sure, what was more important.  NFL football Playoffs and Washington D.C. Redskins playing Seattle Seahawks, that team from the other Washington.  Football is a little bit like war.  And so that’s what I was thinking, when.

When I found out that RG=III, Washinton Redskins Super  rookie QB got hurt in battle, his team lost and now the super talented QB is having Knee Surgery.  Played hurt.  Now finished for the year, and maybe his career is in jeopardy, perhaps.  So I was thinking about that.  Football as War.  A fight for territory and bragging rights, and that lead me directly to thinking about Oscar and the movies.  And something added up for me, and I had to go see it for myself.  What’s the big deal?  Or is all of this small potatoes, and really in the scope of things, looking at my day and life from a 100 year perspective, does it matter that RGIII lost the game, maybe lost his position as QB, and that losing in turf war, ends his career.  If so, what’s next?

 

And now I am looking at the movies that are in top contention for the Oscar, and see two movies that seem to get me thinking a certain way.  There are 3 movies for 2013 that touch upon the theme that comes with this blog and my Other World Voice.  Those movies are:  Lincoln.  Zero Dark Thirty.  And.  Silver Linings Playbook.

 

So I went to the movie yesterday, and after 40 minutes or less watching Lincoln, the 1865 view of President Lincoln and his issues of the day, which was mostly about The Civil War, and giving equality to slaves, and I guess indirectly, to women, who at the time could not vote in the United States in 1865, I walked out.  Yes, didn’t stay to see the whole movie.  It was about war, and about many things that reminded me of the end of military influence and spending in our society, and I just left the theater thinking, Zero Dark Thirty.  And.  Silver Lining Playbook.  Those are the other movies seeking an Oscar Winning opportunity for best picture.  And I have seen Silver Lining Playbook and it was entertaining but in my mind, not Best Picture material.  Football oriented comedy and that’s where the idea, Playbook comes in.  Washington Redskins and RGIII.  About the playbook and playing hurt.  And now I am down to one movie:  Zero Dark Thirty.

And from where I am and my state of mind, its bleak.  Lincoln is not my choice for Best Picture of the Year.  Nor is Silver Linings Playbook.  So what’s left.  Zero Dark Thirty.  A movie about the demise of Bin Laden and water-boarding and behind the scenes activity, we chose to not talk about.  At least that’s the way it seems.  What happens when your best player gets hurt, RGIII and it flashes on the screen:  Game Over.  So it is with Bin Laden.  We know how the movie ends before its finished.  Game Over.  But is that it?   Lincoln and the Civil War ends.  Zero Dark Thirty and Bin Laden’s life ends.  Silver Linings Playbook and its just a comedy, but then I think:  Washington D.C.  Is RGIII’s career over?  And that’s when my other world voice kicks in.

 

Tells me that there are other choices we can make.  That its not all about war and the military budget and that kind of thinking.  And so I look farther.  More movies:  Argo.  A movie about rescuing hostages and has something to do with the Hollywood movie theme.  Haven’t seen the movie yet, so am not sure how it relates to my theme about 1865 Civil War and Lincoln.  Or about football and RGIII getting hurt over the weekend and now having knee surgery.  Or about Bin Laden and all that.  Argo and Les Miserables and Django Unchained.  More trouble.  Violence.  

 

And it gets me to thinking.  I have  it good.  Didn’t get hurt playing football.  Didn’t have to make decisions about ending a war and the issues of slavery.  And all I did was walk out of a movie, Lincoln after 40 minutes because it reminded me too much of today.  Finding a new boss to run the Pentagon.  Didn’t want to think about how it all goes down in Washington D.C.  Didn’t want to think about what happen to RGIII and his football future.  And mostly,  Hollywood.  Movie Oscars and Best Picture.  And now I have decided.

 

My Other World Voice votes for a movie called:   Life of Pi.  Part fantasy and Part Reality.  What happens when your ship goes down.  And you survive?  And that’s it.  Other World Voice.  2013 and equality.  All The People are equal.  Sort of.  Same-Sex Marriage and other stuff is in the air.  And I am thinking.  1865 to 2013.  We’ve come a long ways? 

Haven’t we?  Sort of.

SIGNIFICANT-OTHER DATA PLAN

SIGNIFICANT-OTHER DATA PLAN

I went to the phone store recently.  Niece was buying or shopping for a new phone.  Smart Phone she called it.  Asked me if I wanted one.  Like maybe she was offering to give it to me for Christmas.  That didn’t happen.  I spoiled her mood and the conversation when I said, “Can  I use it to hookup with my significant other?”  And who would that be.  I never met her, and why did you bring that up?  Totally inappropriate.”

 

More detail.  I have said it several times, but this is a public blog and well for the sake of clarity I will mention it again.  Significant Other Person passed away from complications of child birth.  Since then, none of us have been talking.  Not that we are fighting, but its well known, that Niece has never seen me with the children, and that’s a disconnect that keeps trying to insert itself into everyday reality.  And now, here I am talking about a data plan and smart phone that is advanced enough to bridge the gaps, and introduce a new reality.  “ New reality:  Significant Other on the other line, will you hold please? “

 

Based on Smart Phone and I have no clue what they can do.  I know they are expensive.  Family Plan and immediately it brought to mind, significant other.  Didn’t add the part:  deceased.  Niece cut me off before I could begin an Alzheimer Story.  “Inappropriate.”  She said.  Conversation stopped.  And that leaves me with blog for today.  Significant Other Data Plan.

 

Shadows and Reflections of the children’s mother take up a lot of my quiet time.  I observe the children in play and talking.  For them, mother is there.  For me, not really.  New Year and at the end of the year, it will be 5 years of silence.  But not hostility or denial.  Still looking for a significant other data plan that will hook us up and for that I would surely pay the outrageous price the phone company charges.   For now, I am not convinced.  How smart can a  Smart Phone be?  And of course I like the idea that you can’t ring me while I am out of the house and on my morning walk.  Best to just leave it to nature.  I feel her everywhere.  And that’s the point.

 

In the image of the children and the dynamic people they are becoming, I see reflections of mother.  And will leave it at that.  New Year and there is no doubt I would like to be with her.  But mostly when the subject comes up, “Do you miss her?”, I look down and avert eye contact.  “Inappropriate.”  I want to say.  But the truth is I am getting older as each day passes.  And the young ones and their smart phones never ask.  Mostly, it is me.   Talking to myself.  Ask.  “Do I miss you.”  And the answer is:  I am in love.   Comes with the first page of the wordless picture book, where shadows and reflections reach out to me, take me in their frozen grasp, and the past comes alive.

 

But this is a new year.  Niece hopes that I will only deal with the here and now.  Only talk to her.  Attend.  And that is the plan.  Holiday and Slot Machines.  Iconic Tradition.  A Return To Love.  And maybe a course in miracles, when and where purchasing a new  Smart Phone can connect you with the people you think about, living or dead.  And just when I am about to say something that might sound like a rebuttal and a conversation we just aren’t having now.  Niece says,

“And don’t forget the adzuki beans.”  We need them for our holiday dinner.  Did you forget?”  And this is her way of reminding me.  Alzheimer’s Stories should not come with us into the new year.  And yes, she gets the message.  Another year, and he is in love with her.  And with the children’s mother.  Shadows and Reflections and Happy New Year.  2013.  Their Love is Endless.  Can be seen, like reflections in ice.  And in his eyes.